How to ‘Knock Out’ the Monkeys Jumping Up and Down Like Crazy in Your Head

Not just one monkey but multiple ones…

Origin of Monkeys

We all raise monkeys as unwelcoming pets in our private parts: in our heads. The annoying thing is they are insane. They go wild and crazy over nothing.

They got into our heads somewhere around our adolescent years. Life was good prior to that.

Not so good since they entered our lives.

They are ruining our happiness we had as kids.

You are suffering because of your mom and dad’s passionate love that happened one night.

Suffering Because of Sex?

Bad news is your parents and monkeys singed a permanent lease on the space in our heads before you were born. Our well-meaning mom and dad signed that contract for us when we were a sperm and an egg by having sex and giving birth to us.

The worse news is that the conditions and terms of a contract is in their favor. Those mentally retarded monkeys are allowed to live there UNTIL WE DIE.

They will get out when our breathing stops. They will live as long as we breathe.

Don’t hate your mom and dad, though. That unfavorable “contract” was signed out of passionate love.

They will fight back hard…Get ready.

Teach them to behave with some hard punches.

After all, our parents are not to blame. And we need to embrace these unwelcoming guests, learn how to deal with them, and give them the lessons.

Many wise and smart sages, throughout the history of human beings, have fought this fight before us.

And many of them developed their own ways on how to discipline the sick monkeys without submitting to those animals that are stupider than us.

Even though I am a butt-head, daringly and humbly I want to tell you how to teach some hard lessons to those motherfuckers in your heads .

You have to box with them and knock the fuck out.

Yeah, throw punches until they go to sleep unconscious.

Let me teach you some basics.

Boxing Metaphor

You gotta jab, jab, throw one, two straights, and swinging one last finish blow with a right hook.

The monkeys will be on the floor with the little stars floating around their heads after all those hard punches.

I am not telling you to literally put on red gloves and have spar with some scary man.

It’s a metaphor.

Let me tell you what 2 jabs, 2 straight punches, and 1 right hook really are below.

0. Warm-up

“Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.” ― Steve Jobs

Every action step to knocking out the crazy monkeys, jumping up and down in our tiny heads, is going to be deceptively simple, easy, and even totally free to do without any thinking, planning, strategizing, and preparing.

But, please, don’t be fooled by this cheap price and simpleness of it all.

Our world markets or scams, and sells the complicated and less important stuff like they are the most effective solutions to the problems we have, because they can’t sell the real simple stuff that truly matters.

Like, powders, potions, and pills versus sleep.

Companies would be able to earn trillions and trillions, if they could sell the quality sleep to the customers.

But, the fact is that they can’t.

So they choose to sell some vitamin pills that are secondary to our health, compared to sleep, which is one of the most important keys to our health and completely free of charge.

So, don’t be fooled by simpleness. Get warmed up and ready to roll.

1. Jog

Jog to tire out the monkey mind

The first jab to our rude monkeys is jogging. Preview to the monkey mind that you can throw some jabs to them.

Please, notice that I didn’t use the words like ‘exercise’, ‘workout’, or even ‘run’.

Just lightly jog.

It’s the best anti-depressant of all whether anecdotally or scientifically proven.

Lightly jogging is meditative and energizing in a soothing manner.

Jogging is related to health, of course, like any other types of exercises, but they are the easiest, simplest, cheapest, and the most effective, when it comes to gaining sanity and serenity in our lives.

It’s deeply related to improved long-term memory and other brain functions. It’s like a sedative to the monkeys that play wild in our heads. Put them on drugs!

I personally run at whatever pace I desire to do at that moment every morning just 10 minutes. My girlfriend does it for 20 minutes. We both think this is the thing that put us on a roll throughout the day. And many seem to agree on the Interwebs, as well.

Sometimes, this one little jab is good enough to quieten down our noisy brain.

2. Write

The thoughts that go round and round are the foods for the monkey mind. Don’t give them the food.

But, these as smart animals are not weak like that. You have to throw some jabs a little more to make them vulnerable.

Writing is that.

I don’t mean writing a good essay or whatever by the term ‘writing’.

I mean dumping out whatever is in our heads. I mean the physical act of putting what goes around in our heads down onto paper, even though they are gibberish, or unorganized and meaningless phrases.

“Journaling doesn’t have to solve your problems. You simply need to get them out of your head, where they will otherwise bounce around all day long.”
“I’m just caging my monkey mind on paper so I can get on with my fucking day.” — Tim Ferriss, Author of ‘The 4-Hour Work Week’ on his blog about journaling

Just spend 5 minutes of doing the brain dump after waking up and before going to bed. I do it this way.

And this is the best. My head gets so much clearer when I pin down my stupid monkey on a piece of paper with meaningless words.

Monkeys lose some breathing space by me doing this.

“Your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.” -David Allen, Author of ‘Getting Things Done’

And this kind of primitive writing, in and of itself, is a creative act. Putting down what’s already in my head generates new creative ideas.

We can call the monkey mind differently: ‘1, 2, 3, many mind’.

We really get overwhelmed by over just 3 things or to-do’s. Our monkeys acts up when there are just more than a few thoughts in our heads.

So, we need to outsource that extra-thinking to the old-fashioned pen and paper. Put some down on paper. Other thoughts comes into your head and make new connections.

Now you’re able to think of the things you couldn’t possibly think of when holding them all inside your small brains.

It boosts my creativity on steroids from my experience.

With these simple actions of jogging and dumping out the thoughts onto paper, your monkey mind behaves like a kid raised right.

But, we want to knock them out. So, read on.

3. Meditate

silent straight punch…

Now, we rattled them a bit. We need to show some punching power we got.

Mediation is like the king of caging the monkey mind. It’s a powerful straight punch in their throats.

No further explanation needed, really.

So, without any pontification of mine, I will recommend the guided mediation that has worked for me.

Personally, I tried some apps and stuff. And Tara Brach’s guided meditation is the best.

Google her name. Go and meditate. Don’t get philosophical and woo-woo on what ‘meditation’ is. Just get guided.

4. Minimalism

Don’t your monkeys in your head get excited by seeing this photo?

Now, the monkeys got tagged and stunned. Their legs got wobbly.

But, don’t forget that we need to knock them out.

Running, writing, and meditating work like a charm for gaining back our serenity that was stolen by the monkeys that had barged into our brains.

But we need more.

OK, like anything else, let me clarify this fancy term. I don’t mean in a spiritual and noble way. It’s quite a fad to understand this ‘minimalism’ thing with some serious spirituality these days.

Just throw out the stuff. This is what I mean. I don’t go deeper than this. It takes courage. But, do it. Sell some of the stuff on eBay. You can make good money. Or give them away. You can become a good person.

The physical belongings that you don’t really need is another deceptive form of the monkeys in your heads.

The unnecessary physical stuff that you have in your room is the monkeys that live outside your heads, but in your house.

You may think they are not living things. But they are. They feed off of the food called attention. The more stuff you have, the more you have to spare your time, energy, and attention, which is very limited.

For example, the more electronics you have, the more often you have to charge the batteries, the more often you have to get them fixed, and the more often you have to replace what we have now with new models, whenever you friends flaunt fancier ones than yours.

Please, throw them out. The less physical things give us the head space.

Don’t raise more monkeys. The ones in your head are plenty.

This might be why Buddhist monks obsessively clean and mop their temples on top of meditating. Decluttering is liberating and healing, guys.

You’ve done some serious damage to the monkey mind now, if you’ve done this brave feat.

It’s time to throw some massive haymakers and knock the monkey out with a powerful right hook.

5. Automate

You have to do these everyday. Do you want to use your head here?

Automating the repetitive routines in a day is that right hook.

Automate or decide in advance the things that you have to do as a human being by making them the habits. This is what I mean by ‘Automate’.

You have to exercise. You have to take a shower and brush your teeth. You have to meditate. You have to journal. You have to wear the clothes. Right?

Then, do you want to pick the time and schedule all of those everyday before doing them over and over again?

Do you want to schedule everyday when to journal, meditate everyday?

Do you want to choose what to wear that day like a teenager girl everyday?

Don’t be lazy and decide when, how, what to exercise, meditate, journal, and things like these in advance. And keep doing until they become habits so that you do them on autopilot in the near future.

If you plan and think this kind of stuff on a daily basis “diligently”, you won’t get anything important done. You have used up your mental reserve over this repetitive and stupid matters.

Do what this billionaire does.
Now, monkeys are knocked down. It’s seriously impossible for the fucking monkeys to act crazy with these 5 things done in a day:
A) Jog for 10 minutes. You may want to do more, but it’s enough for me from what I experienced for calming down the monkeys.
B) Put down things on paper as often as you need to.
C) Meditate with the kindly guided audio just for 10 minutes, whenever you feel like it.
D) Throw the unnecessary out in the name of minimalism
E) Lastly, automate the boring, stupid, but important daily routines so that your decision making muscles don’t go to failure before doing anything.
Now, they are down and unconscious. You have knocked them out. You have put them to sleep.
Savor the happiness without all the crazy stomping of the monkeys that were hyperactive.

You have won. But, they are back.

One last note, go to bed and wake up.

Then, monkeys are back and they are as strong again when you open your eyes in bed.

These are daily practices. Knock them out again and again everyday.

Whether you like it or not.

[ Please, pass it along to your friend who is struggling to cage the monkey mind!]

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