Over Else

I’ve been acting like a bitch ass for a while now.

Trying to change that.

And after some thinking, I’ve been repeating the same line to myself.

Strength of mind over everything else.

Wise Being

You know we all got this little organ in our skulls, weighs about 3 pounds and consumes about 20% of our energy.

I even heard this one guy argue that the point of our bodies is to house, protect, and nurture our brain.

Whether you agree with that or not, the brain is the most powerful thing we have.

Like if we meditate long enough, it’ll jump out of our skulls and start beating the shit out of demons.

And, it’s so damn powerful that it’ll destroy you if you abuse it.

But, I’m going further than just physical abuse.

I’m talking about the cognitive battery that we put our brains through.

Ya’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

Those bitch thoughts that we think up all the time.

Thoughts of doubt. Feeling less than. Blaming circumstances.

And you’d think that the damage only affects the mind — WRONG.

It’ll eventually fuck up your body too.

Christian Bale…

But, it’s a good starting point to be aware that you’re a bitch ass.

Personally, I have trouble with self-control, which is directly proportional to a weak mind. I end up doing things I don’t want to do. And somehow, the more I care about someone the more I end up hurting them.

Absolute SHITE!

So yeah, I’m trying to fix it. Strength of mind over everything else.

I stop myself when I have these thoughts. I go for walks at fucking 3 AM if I have to. Or if I can’t stop them, I just let them roam, knowing that they’re just thoughts.

But, it dawned on me that thoughts that lead to nothing is just that — nothing.

So instead, I think positive thoughts. And then, I act on them.

It could be anything like robbing the bank or punching a goat. But for this summer, I’ve been applying them to exercising, studying, and writing.

(And in this way, it’s very similar to prayer for the spiritual people out there. And for obvious reasons, I am purposely not talking about this.)

To no one’s surprise, my inspiration for this came from — fighters.

Something common to Bruce Lee and a lot of other fighters is their confidence. No fighter ever goes into a match with a maybe or a perhaps.

Greats like Muhammad Ali or Floyd Mayweather hold their head up high and announce that they are the greatest. They don’t just believe. They know. And with absolute and total confidence, they train like beasts, sharpening the mind that then sharpens the body.

This is how it should be.

And, it can be practiced.

It’s simple but powerful.

Believe then act.

It’s not over until we win.

But, what’s the point for all of this? Why even work hard at all? Why even try to become a better person?

I probably ask myself this way too often.

It goes to show that I’m not acting enough.

But, I need to ask myself this because sometimes I feel like giving up. Sometimes, I just want to stay in bed and just stare at the ceiling. I don’t want to study. I don’t want to lift. I don’t want to write.

I end up telling myself that there’s nothing for me.

I feel that all is lost for me.

I see now.

When I’m all the way down there, it’s often because of a combination of depression and a massive ego.

It’s been about me, me, and me all along.

The point is to do all this for someone else.

I feel bad, but someone is feeling this too. And probably, much worse. I feel your pain, though I can’t see you.

And most definitely for the pain that is plain before my eyes, I’m trying my best. I’ve been pushing aside my responsibilities and throwing my character in the dumpster.

Fucking shit. It’s taking a damn while to fix myself, I know. I’m TRRRRYYIIIIINNNNN’

But, I’m coming. So hold on.

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