The Creature and the GirlIt did not creep in like shadows do. It did not whisper its arrival like a wistful dream. There was no forewarning, no slow, creeping…Jan 301Jan 301
Why I’m Gaining Weight and Blaming Age (Even Though It’s Totally My Fault)Fat and forty (don’t I sound hot?)Jan 27Jan 27
Relationshits & Symptoms of LoveHypothesizing the poopose of the Sunday morning breakfast crowdJan 91Jan 91
A Warm Butt Is Its Own Species Of PleasureWarm butt bliss is distinct category of joy that doesn’t compete with other things because it’s better than thatDec 19, 2024Dec 19, 2024
The Bin-Fairy-Gone-Feral IncidentBin etiquette was a sacred art form, and I was the blasphemous heathen defiling the curbDec 13, 2024Dec 13, 2024
When the Universe Gives You What You Need, Not What You WantRescue dogs come with the trauma of their life before you, so naturally, I got two — a funny take on dog adoptionDec 11, 20241Dec 11, 20241
When Intimacy in Your 40s Looks Like a Trip to the DentistYour dentist is practically spelunking in your face with a headlamp and pickaxe — and it particularly sucks if they’re attractiveDec 11, 20241Dec 11, 20241
Elbow Grabs, Sibling Assholery, and Other Things That Shape YouThere’s a strange alchemy that happens when you grow up with sisters.Dec 10, 20242Dec 10, 20242
