Switching years, switching gears
I guess there’s no time like the first day of a new year to be cliche and start a new thing like this.
If 2017 was the year of escaping bad habits, 2018 is the year of spreading the positivity that can, with a little luck, help others do the same. I spent my last semester of college realizing there were people I hadn’t been around as much as I had wished. The people I spent my time with were great, but it’s a very odd feeling to suddenly realize you have a time limit to cultivate a friendship. That hit me very hard in that final semester, and it probably showed. I also had a lot of goals that I knew I probably wouldn’t have the mental clarity to tackle until post-graduation. Goals like dropping some weight back off, eating healthier, paying off debts, reconnecting with people I had grown distant from. Overall, just taking steps to get out of the shitty depression pit I had fallen into.
And you know something? I feel like I’ve done that, in a lot of ways. I took an amazing trip to E3 with beloved friends and colleagues from Hey Poor Player, and that really made the whole thing feel like the start of something like a new chapter in my life. Again, I’m writing in an unusual number of cliches. I should probably get that looked at.
I started running, started avoiding sugar and fried foods (and also drinking a fair bit less), and after about a month, was able to get a job I actively enjoy and feel pretty rewarded by, and started budgeting my money with not-terrible results. Depression doesn’t get chased off like a wild dog lurking around a deer carcass, but it can be kept in check. And I’m proud to say I’ve made enough of a turnaround in the back half of 2017 to keep it reasonably well in check.
But I don’t want this to just be a list of reasons I’m okay with myself at the moment. Instead, now I’m switching into whatever the new year will bring. If I can make any kind of jab at myself in the latter half of the year, it’s that I didn’t spend enough spare time doing the things I find creatively satisfying, despite having a decent amount of time in which to do so. That’s 2018.
More than that, too, I feel like that creative drive can be put into action in ways that can actively help people, if I try hard enough. Not sure how yet, though. That’s 2018.
A year ago, I was sad, and angry, and maybe a little near-dead inside. Today, I feel pretty good. I want to share that goodness.