I tried to ask “what is the patriarchy?” In another post and had to get my asbestos suit out for the flame 🔥 attack that happened.
I feel like you’re saying that “toxic femininity” is the way in which women oppress each other and “toxic masculinity”…actually, I don’t know how you described TM, or TF, for that matter.
I see The Patriarchy as the system in which men bully each other, some symptoms of which may be “toxic masculinity” but a lot of the time it doesn’t involve women at all. One way in Which it does is that powerful men display their power over weaker men is by appearing to have access to women. Attractive women can readily allow themselves to be objectified by participating in The Patriarchy in this way. Women can bully each other through “The Matriarchy” by things like shaming each other into shaving 🪒 their bits, for using their natural sexual powers to control men (“being sluts”) either “too much” or in the wrong way, or “while being around 23” (when a young woman’s sexual power is like a nuclear bomb 💣), and so forth. I kind of see a lot of this as women using men as a kind of “effigy” to bully each other. If you don’t dress 👗 nice, shave 🪒 your bits, speak quietly or just shut up, or be skinny, then no men will like you. Wrong! The species would die out if there weren’t men interested in every type of woman. Men who like rubinesque women hide this preference because they fear bullying from other men, for example, and how much of that bias comes from the matriachy?
My feeling is that we need to liberate WOMEN FIRST and then and only then can we think about liberating men, ie, dismantling the patriarchy. The patriarchy exists so that men do what they’re told, so we have food and win wars, no matter how much suffering, no matter how much it degrades men, and we have to be careful messing with that. I think we’re pretty safe dismantling the ways women oppress each others (women stop 🛑 shaving 🪒 their bits and maybe a razor 🪒 company or two will go out of business, but Canada 🇨🇦 won’t take over the USA 🇺🇸 because of societal collapse ). We may even be able to change many of the bits of the Patriarchy that directly oppress women, but we need to understand it, first, and I don’t see a lot of that. Men seem to be pretty resigned to their duty to the Patriarchy, the whole dying in wars thing, working crazy hours, working until you’re old, breaking and wearing out your body, spending your whole life having to follow the orders of some other guy (there’s always some other guy), having to hang out with other guys doing and talking about boring “guy crap”, fighting over women, constantly thinking about women, and so on, a lot of fear of shame. Guys actually have kind of a macabre sense of gallows humor about it.
Anyway, volumes could be written about it, and I have done a bit. Coming to terms, so to speak. You’ve made a start, I suppose. Tip of the iceberg 🏔️ scratched, I guess. 😁