How To Maintain A Godly Relationship

aestheticallyanxious
5 min readMay 17, 2020

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It’s no secret that relationships can sometimes be difficult to maintain. There are too many people out there that believe love is a feeling rather than a choice. And when those people seemingly fall out of love, they choose to break up or get a divorce rather than work things out. And to me, that is the difference between a relationship and a Godly relationship.

A Godly relationship isn’t just a relationship between two people. It’s more of a love triangle, where God is at the top and is ultimately what connects the two other people in the relationship. It seems as though Godly relationships are the minority these days, in a society where love has seemingly lost much of its meaning.

But it isn’t too late for anyone to transform their relationship with their significant other into one of God.

You see, the amazing thing about God is that His heart is so big that He chooses to offer us forgiveness each morning. We are able to shed our old lives and choose to live a new one that’s devoted to our walks with Jesus. And when we choose to do this, our relationships are capable of transforming into something beautiful, even when they seem broken beyond repair.

For those of you who are in a relationship that’s struggling or one that has seemingly lost its magic, I know you must be feeling lost and maybe even scared of what the future might hold. If you’re one of those people, use this post as guidance, inspiration, and motivation to work on renewing your relationship and allowing God to be the glue that holds you two together!

LOVE LIKE GOD

By this, I mean choose to love your significant other like God chose to love us. Each morning, God pours His love, grace, mercy, and everything else that we need into us. But not just a spoonful of it. No, he grabs the biggest shovel He has and keeps pouring it on us. And this is what we should do to our significant others. However much love, grace, and mercy God gave us that day, we must show that to those around us.

But God is also slow to anger and this is so important in relationships. Anger, fighting, and impatience seem to play a big role in the downfall of relationships. In order to love like God, we too need to be slow to anger and show patience in all situations. Many couples tend to keep fighting evil with evil and this is how arguments turn into fights. I know I’m guilty of this myself. It can be difficult to be slow to anger when a disagreement pops up.

But each day, it’s important to ask God to fill you with patience so you are able to be slow to anger in these situations! Rather than fueling the argument, take a step back and approach the situation with kindness and understanding!

PRAY FOR AND WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER

Praying with your significant other can strengthen your bond and help you two stay on the right page with your religion, goals, values, and much more! But praying together can also increase your intimacy and trust on a different, much deeper level.

But it’s equally as important to pray for your significant other while you’re apart. When you pray for someone, you can begin to view them as God views them. Rather than viewing them as the problem or cause of the downfall of your relationship, it’s important to pray for them and ask God for help. Doing so can prevent you from becoming prideful or entitled. Praying for your significant other in general can draw you closer to your partner and God.

Pray for peace, patience, clarity, guidance, understanding, forgiveness, healing, or whatever else you feel your partner or relationship may need!

FORGIVE + BE PATIENT

Like I mentioned earlier, fights and arguments can play a major role in the downfall of many relationships. But not typically in Godly relationships. Don’t get me wrong, believers still do get into arguments. That is a part of human nature. But the way we approach and diffuse these situations seems to be much different.

1 Peter 4:8 says, “above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sin.”

Forgiveness is the key. When you choose to hold a grudge or keep bringing up past mistakes, your relationship will slowly begin to die. But when you choose to forgive your partner and yourself, your relationship will shine even in the darkest of valleys.

The same goes for patience. Whoever said patience is a virtue is entirely right. Patience is an essential ingredient in the recipe of marriage.

I know in my personal experience, I’ve struggled deeply with panic disorder. For months, I was having constant panic attacks which made it hard for me to move and think, let alone maintain my relationships. But my precious boyfriend, who I had only been with for a few months at the time chose to sit by my side and comfort me in any way he could. Instead of getting frustrated that I wasn’t up to going out and doing things or leaving my house, he showed me an incredible amount of patience. He would sit with me for hours at a time when he would rather be out doing things and I knew that. But he insisted on taking care of me and he was as kind and understanding as he could be.

This is the kind of patience and selflessness God wants us to show our significant others. No matter how stressful or overwhelming things get, you should still show patience, grace, and be understanding. This is the absolute best way to deal with conflict or stress in a relationship!

PUT GOD FIRST

This looks like something different for each person. In order to put God first in your relationship, you must first build and strengthen your own personal relationship with God. Once you start to grow closer to Him, you’ll start to naturally love and act more like Him. Decide to put God at the center of your life. When you do this, you’ll naturally love God above your partner. God is love and He will pour His love into you.

Once you do this, continue to actively put God first in everything. When conflict arises, turn to God and pray the conflict away rather than fueling it. When you reach a new milestone in your relationship or are thankful for something that happened for either one of you, thank God!

When you are lost, confused, hurt, insecure, or anything else that may be hindering or getting in the way of your relationship, turn to God first before anything else! God is so much more helpful and healing than any coping mechanism you could turn to.

Putting God first will definitely not make your relationship perfect, but it can teach you how to properly love and treat one another. Building and maintaining a Godly relationship can build a strong foundation for your relationship and can make it more likely to last!

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aestheticallyanxious

Mental health enthusiast, lover of Jesus, and perpetually anxious