April 1, 2017 — No This Isn’t A Prank

A big part of my life involves working for young people who have been abused and/or neglected by the parents that should protect and love them at all costs. My adoption may play a part in that somewhere. But I never knew what it was like not to have unconditional love and support, which I received from my mom and dad who adopted me at a very young age.
In the back of my mind through all of the things I’ve experienced in life, I’ve always wondered what kind of dad I would be. There are all kinds of theories that I’ve read and re-read. The brothers who had an alcoholic father — one became and alcoholic and the other never touched it — and when asked why, both answered ‘I watched my father.’ There is nature vs nurture. I hear young people tell me that they were brought into this world by deadbeats, so they’re going to be a deadbeat. I hear others that say they’re going to save the world because of the strength they got from growing up far too early.
I’ve loved Rachel since the day I allowed myself to open up to allowing another person to be a major part of my life. I love her because of who she is. I love her because of who she makes me become. I also love her because I know there is no one else I would want more than Rachel to be the mother to my child; no matter if that child came to us biologically or not.
Last night, we found out that Rachel has a tiny human being growing inside of her (still feels weird to say or type). I’m well aware that it is very early on in that process and many different things can happen over the next several months. The entire day has been somewhat of a blur that seems to have lasted a very long time. I got very little sleep with my mind racing. We got up around 6am (Sunday), unsure of what to do first. We weren’t sure if we should try a new brand to test. We weren’t sure how long you’re supposed to wait to tell people. We were still in a haze of shock. We decided to tell some close friends. I tried to call my best friend Drew, but he didn’t answer. Then we called Rachael, who had been the Matron of Honor at our wedding, no answer. We could not tell Rachel’s other friends, as her best friend was scheduled to get married in 6 days and we did not want to steal the thunder.
I then called my mom. Finally an answer! I had the phone on speaker with Rachel laying next to me. After some brief small talk, it kind of just spilled out of my mouth. “We took, well Rachel took…uh…Rachel took a…well a few….uh….Rachel took a couple pregnancy tests, and they all came back positive.” Real wordsmith I was. Saying it finally shook some type sense in me that this was real. My mom wasn’t sure what to say either. She was overjoyed, but still at a loss.
After that call, we decided how we would tell Rachel’s family. The plan was to go to the bookshop and buy some children’s books, wrap them up and head over to their house for a surprise appearance for dinner. (It’s 4:49 right now, and we’re going to leave in about 20 minutes. I’ll give an update when we get back.)
Next, we had 2 1/2 hours to kill before the bookshop opened. So we decided to go to the beach. It was a little bit surreal going to the beach knowing this time next year we could be on this beach with a little human being that shared our DNA. It was a beautiful day, not all that surprising for the OC in April. After killing some time, still in a little bit of a daze and not sure what to think, we came back to the bookshop. We then came home to take a nap, as the exhaustion of not sleeping the night before caught up to us.
One of the strangest parts of finding out ourselves and then thinking about sharing the news with others is that it really does impact everyone in the family. It’s almost like everyone takes a step up to the next level of family life immediately. The couple become parents, the parents become grandparents, the siblings become aunts and uncles and so on.
I think that will be a cool thing to share with the baby. The minute we knew about you, you immediately elevated everyone around you to another step in life. With that start in life, there is nothing you can’t accomplish!
