Objects in Mirror Are Less Cool Than They Appear

You give me too much cool cred Jules. I don’t have it. Not as much as Jerry Hall anyway. She looked cooooooool (fun pictures by the way). Like, wistfully-gazing-off-into-the-distance-and-wishing-I-coul-be-her kind of cool. Not my kind of cool.

I just give relatively few fucks and have relatively low ambition. It’s the coolness of slackerdom that comes from years of the grind, not the innate coolness that seems to just come standard on people who were born super pretty or wealthy or talented.

Coolness is a grind

I have a barren field of fucks to give, Jules. I’m just fresh out of fucks. I try to keep things in perspective and remain unaffected where things make the least amount of sense. That’s not coolness, that’s mostly apathy, or just your garden variety laziness.

That’s the difference here.

Jerry Hall was cool in this classic celebrity way where you go out and you do cool things with your cool-kid friends. If I am cool, and Haha-that’s a big IF, it’s the coolness of slackers.

Loser-cool.

I’m the Kenickie to someone else’s Danny Zuko. The laid back friend to all who’s like… “yeah man, I dig it,” anytime he has a line. Cool in the periphery maybe.

To be fair, I think there must be different levels of coolery. Oliver Shiny touched on this in a piece he wrote for me on The Falconer. (And while I’m at it, here’s another one for the Medium Suggestion Box: How’s about the ability to directly link to another post on the mobile app without having to go hunt the URL down? Sorta like the Confluence shortcut key for linking. You could slip it in next to the @tag hot key, eh, maybe? This would suit my lazy brand of coolness.)

At any rate…

It’s not the Dazed and Confused, “hey man, you cool?” kind of cool. I haven’t smocked any pote in years.

It’s not the “I woke up like this” irony-on-my-T-shirt-but-you-know-it’s-really-not kind of cool.

It’s the “Give 17% on Mondays, 13% on Fridays, and make the rest of the week still only add up to about 80…maybe 85%” kind of cool that comes from having to grow up before you’re ready.

I’m done talking about me now. Let’s talk about you now. Or maybe Alexainie’s birthday. I throw a great surprise party 😜.