So I had to look up Jerry Hall, because I’m a millennial and an American, and we’re mostly obsessed with our celebrities. But I’m impressed! Love her. Got that Mick Jagger money. Love it. Get it girl. Cant say I agree with Rupert Murdoch, but to each their own. Ehhh?

So I’m schwastey-faced. This whole trip I’ve been just bombed out of my gourd, which was the plan — right? Send my 20s off with a moderately priced Pinot, and go into my 30s with a booz-e-bration to womp womp the nation.

I had to decide whether I would respond Oliver Shiny-style, with 19 comments for a single thread, or in one long response. Both have their merits. Ultimately, I decided on one long response. I hope I’m spelling everything appropriately. I’m shitfaced. And I just “shook it like a Polaroid picture” with my mom in an Irish pub in San Fran? Yeah. That’s a question. I vaguely remember some Earth Wind and Fire too.

Shitfaced.

Anyway, I love you Jules. I really super do. As much as you can love someone you’ve never met. What you wrote to me literally moved me to tears. (And I’m sorry I didn’t write back right away, my parents dislike my being on the phone all the time, and it was important to me to enjoy my experience sans distractions — Medium is my main social distraction.)

I know exactly what you mean about everything. That’s why we’re soulblisters in the sun, right? We don’t have to say anything, but the anything we say is always good, and what’s more — it’s mutually appreciated.

I wanted to tackle a couple of things you mentioned.

What I will say is this — you have a really fucking good decade coming your way.

I know! I’ve been told this by several people so I’m excited. I know a few people who were terrified of turning 30, but I’ve always considered age to be this badge of honor type of thing. Like, fuck yeah, I made it another year.

The thing is you and I do banter. We are the banter queens and when we banter? To me it feels like we will walk up to each other, full sass, and get on one end each of those natural fruit juice gummy bear type snake things and just yank so we each end up with whatever amount each, and we just go at it.

Full sass YES. Gummy bear things — are you talking gummy worms? Gummy worms are delicious. Yes, yank, pull, whoever had the bigger chunk — it’s like the wishbone at Thanksgiving — I know you’re a bit a Brit or whatever, so you may not celebrate that particular holiday of our repression of an entire race of people, but let me just tell you, whoever pulls the biggest piece of the wishbone off — wins the wish. Yes that is it. Tug of war. Friendly, Familial. Comfortable. No smallpox blankets.

So, for being there for me at that Honey Badger moment. I hope to repay you in kind when the right time comes.

Honey badger! You dgaf. I love that. I dig on fiestiness. You have that in SPADES. No need to repay anything.

You are like the coolest benign thing that suddenly, at the drop of a fedora, can turn it on its arse and just go fucking nitro on someone.

I am this way, aren’t I? Happy-go-lucky but frightening if you catch me in a dark mood. I’ve been that way as long as I can remember… I really don’t know what to do about it, but I’ve learned to just be that, or just be me, really.

I don’t know much about a lot but I know that you are a good mother, wife, lover (ha, yep, I know the sounds you make, remember?), daughter (yep, that one too, despite popular opinion to the contrary) and person.

Right-o you are. Hey, I can get out of my own way on most everything you said here, but thank you thank you thank you, for mentioning the good daughter bit. I’m fortunate enough, to have enough parents that when one set disowns me, I still have more. That’s amazing. Not many people have that, I don’t think. But I do and I’m really really lucky.

I guess I just want to say that I know. I know, I know, I know, I’m really fuckin’ lucky. I have people that love me. And now it’s my turn to say thanks.

Maybe it’s the booze.

I don’t think so, I mean maybe, but I just feel really grateful, and happy, and proud. So proud I have the family I have and friends like all of you. But especially you, Jules, because you’re special. Soulblister. You are. You’re so special.

Thank me? Haha, psshhh. No, thank YOU.