Own who you are. Own your identity, your likes and dislikes, your success and failures. Own your laziness or grit. Own your mistakes. Most of all, own your dreams. Own your dreams and do everything in your power to see them come to fruition. If they don’t, or if they get stalled, own that, too.
If my children take nothing else away from their upbringing, I hope it will be this message.
Well, this message along with a whole ton of love, a zest for learning, and a demand for open-mindedness and fact-based thinking in themselves and in their social circles…
It’s a message, this business of personal ownership, that we’re currently struggling to get through to our eldest. See, he’s in the magical 13-year-old haze of Blameless Victim in All Things. He’ll eventually outgrow it along with the huffy eye rolling. In the meantime, it’s driving me batty!
“I got a crappy grade in Math.”
“You’re a whiz in math! What happened?”
“The teacher hates me. I got a few zeros last quarter and she wouldn’t even let me turn in the assignments to make them up.”
“… Dude. Why aren’t you turning in your homework on time?”
“You stopped reminding me to do it! We’ve been really busy and I forgot to do it a couple times.”
“Not my responsibility. You and you alone are responsible for getting your homework in, man. Busy or not. Homework first.”
“I know that! I just don’t always remember it after school.”
We’ll go around and around like this. It’s the teacher. It’s me. It’s his siblings. “He made me punch him! I told him to quit and he kept making stupid faces at me!”
Drives. Me. Crazy!
Annoying as it is, I’m certain it’s a common symptom of Teenagerdom. The presumption is that everyone eventually outgrows this ‘Not it!’ mindset as they begin to make their own way in the world.
The trouble is, I’ve met many adults who have yet to shake this mentality. It’s a travesty! Not only because it’s flat-out immature. Oh, no! It’s far worse than that!
It’s a poverty mentality and a victim mindset. It’s a mental trap that keeps you firmly anchored to your miseries and shortcomings in life!
Now, I’ll tread lightly here because I understand how rigged our system — worldwide, not only here in the U.S. — is to keep people down and out. I’ll also be the first to admit that for some, there is no willing your way out of a bad situation. For some, getting out is like winning the lottery… only with much worse odds.
This mentality of ‘Not it. Victim! Can’t change it. Why bother?’ does no good!
Even in these most terrible of situations.
For those of us fortunate enough to be born into socially and economically mobile countries and to have received an education? This mentality is crippling and nothing short of life-wrecking!
When we fail to take ownership of our lives and of all the aspects within, we are handing over our control to a world that doesn’t care about us as individuals.
Which is not to say it’s a cold, cruel world. In fact, I am resolute in my stance that quite the opposite is true, provided you’re looking out with an open heart and mind!
No, what I’m saying is this: The world owes you nothing. The people around you, at the heart of it all, owe you nothing. You will not magically find all your heart’s desires laid out for you upon a silver platter!
No amount of waiting will get you where you want to go.
No amount of Other blaming will excuse your own poor decisions.
If you do wrong, own it. Make amends for it! Learn from the experience and try to do better.
If you want something, you must be willing to:
- hone in on what it is you want and why
- identify for yourself how to get it
- work your butt off to get there
- never quit showing up and trying
You must take ownership of your own self and course!
Otherwise, you will remain forever afloat not really going anywhere, at the mercy of the seas.
So please, friend, if you are unhappy with some aspect of your life please decide to step up and take ownership of that feeling! If you want to change your life, decide to own it! Then get out there and put in the work!
