10 THINGS MILLENNIALS LEARN AS WE GET OLDER

Joel Allotey
Aug 23, 2017 · 5 min read

Being an adult is no joke.

It feels surreal, the sudden heaping of responsibilities, on individuals who where hither to, considered too young to make decisions for themselves.

Since we are a list-loving generation, I outlined 10 things I have personally learned from my adulthood experience so far.

1.There’s really no ‘Right or Wrong’ these days; Things are either Culturally-Acceptable or Not: Controversial, debatable, but true. What one sees as wrong it totally fine and acceptable to another. the fine distinction between good and bad is now blurred and subject to interpretation. Wherever you find yourself, there will be culturally-acceptable norms that you’d have to live by, or at least attempt to stomach, whether or not they go against your own personal beliefs.

2. The world is filled with evil people, but there are still a lot of genuinely good people out there: Reading the kind of atrocities man commits against man in this age of modernization can be horrifying. The culture of violence and desperation to attain wealth at whatever cost rubs off on a lot of people. However, believe it or not, there are still a bunch of ‘naively’ kind-hearted, generous and caring people out there who would put their necks on the line to help a friend or even stranger.

3. Love Is great, but many marriages/relationships can do well without it: Sad but true. Whatever part of the world you live in, when you get to that age of looking for a life partner, the first thing you think about is falling in love with ‘Mr Right’ or ‘Miss Perfect’, right?

Love is fantastic. If you’ve ever had that one great passionate love in your life, that’s beautiful. If you married your one true love, you’re a lucky bastard. The reality is that many of us will not marry for love. We’d marry someone who is ‘right for us’; Someone who can tolerate your annoying quirks and doesn’t mind sharing a bed with you for the rest of your humdrum lives — or at least until you both get fed up with each other and call your attorneys.

The illusion of ‘Mr/Mrs Perfect’ and ‘Happily-ever-after’ that has blinded many of us since childhood still persists in our adult relationships, and that’s the reason why most relationships today fail- unrealistic expectations from our partners to deliver the ‘perfect love’ that we desire.

4. It’s important to have friends, but you have to properly define them: We’re at that age when we have lots and lots of people that we loosely define as ‘Friends’. After watching and re-watching ten seasons of the legendary TV sitcom of the same name, Friends, one can get a more vivid description of what a true friend should be like. Someone who allows you to be yourself; loves you and accepts you just the way you are and sincerely has your best interest at heart. End of discussion. Anybody, or group of people who make you feel bad about yourself, or inferior, or like you don’t belong, or like you’re not good enough to be in their company should be cut off ASAP before they destroy your self-esteem. Most people you will come across are meant to be just acquaintances, don’t make them out to be more than they deserve to be.

5. Save Money, or Better Yet, Invest: Whether you’re employed or in school, saving is a habit that every millennial must cultivate. Live below your means and cut back on unnecessary luxuries and expenses. Of course it’s totally fine to splurge once in a while, but also have a plan for what your most urgent needs are and satisfy those first. However, if you’ve stashed a substantial amount of money (…and ‘substantial’ means different things to different people in different parts of the world), it would be wiser to invest in securities, a small business that you’re confident you can handle or any other wise investment package that will enable your money (little as it may be) to work for you.

6. It’s perfectly okay to not know what you want to do with your life: It’s also okay to not have all the answers or solutions to the problems in your life. It’s not an admission of failure but an acceptance of your human limitation. Follow your passion and find a way to make people want to pay you for the service or product you deliver (legitimately of course). However, being stuck in a dead-end job that pays the bills and keeps you engaged is also totally fine and won’t kill you.

7. If you’re good to people, they won’t necessarily be good to you in return: This is an extension of number 2 above. Family members, ‘friends’, colleagues and strangers; offering help and being there for them in times of need, doesn’t mean that they’ll come to your aid when you are in need. Everyone’s willingness to help has its limit, and some peoples’ end at doing absolutely nothing to help someone who was once there for them.

8. Never do anything because someone said you should; Take responsibility for your actions and learn from your mistakes: This millennial generation has a habit of blaming everyone but themselves for their own problems: parents, friends, government, ‘Society’. One major hallmark of being an adult is taking responsibility, even when it’s not your fault. Take decisions regarding your life and don’t succumb to external pressures. Advice and guidance from credible sources must of course be considered (not necessarily followed); however the final decision should be yours.

9. Keep in touch with your family: Even if you’ve got friends as awesome and trustworthy as the guys from ‘Friends’, your family members (specifically those whom you grew up with or around, whether blood-related or not) will be the ones most likely to stand by your side when everything falls apart and everyone else walks out on you. Some people have absolutely horrible family members and intentionally stay away, and some have good reason to, but if you’re lucky to have supportive parents and siblings, call them more frequently to say ‘hi’ and check up on them.

10. Jealousy is good, but it should motive you, not stagnate you: Facebook, Instagram and all the other social media outlets have only made it easier for us to see how well our former colleagues from high school or college are doing, and it would be sheer self-deceit not to admit that sometimes we do get jealous of the new wife/husband, new car, apparently awesome job or exotic vacation. However, your jealousy shouldn’t be outright malicious envy, but rather it should serve as a powerful stimulus for you to reassess your life: where it is, where it’s going, and where you want it to be.

Sometimes you’re making progress, other times you’re not satisfied with the level you’ve attained professionally, romantically and otherwise, and it’s all good. People aren’t always as happy as they post or tweet themselves to be, but even if they are, you should be too busy trying to better your own life to worry about other people’s apparent happiness or success.

And number 11 is more of general advise….PUT ASIDE THE SMARTPHONE AND PARTICIPATE IN REAL LIFE!

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