Relationships, Launching, and Expectations
For the most part, any relationship is an exercise in patience, trust, and vulnerability. Off balance, those three create a trifecta having an amazing ability to get in and itch under my skin as I want to know more.
Floating in moments like that it’s important to fully stop and process what feelings I’m feeling, what thoughts I’m thinking, and what things I’d like. Writing these three out to get a better understanding of the expectations I’m putting on the situation help me tremendously get back into a more balanced state.
Their’s another seemingly very different situation that’s also a great exercise in keeping that trifecta in check; releasing what I’ve created. In moments before letting go, all I want is to know what’ll happen once the rest of the world has a chance to see what I’ve loved and brought into being. Even with the best analytics read and understood by the best consultant, I get no absolute certainty regarding what’ll happen until I trust and take the risk.
That fear of not knowing and the anticipation of everything yet to come often make launching and living in the world with other people so challenging. Once I let go of expectations and trust that what happens next is out of my control and will be okay even though any number of my perceived shortcomings could be exposed.
I have to do it anyway.
This becomes particularly difficult when dating. After a while of floating in that seemingly endless nebulous stage, one of us will attempt to land often with the question; “where is this going”. We then find ourselves at a perceived crossroad; one way seems to have something meaningful while the other way nothing.
That question, so simple, yet holds such weight and often end up soaked in expectation. It’s as if to imply the relationship should be heading towards a destination and if it’s not a destination we easily recognize then we shouldn’t go at all.
I don’t believe that’s wise, at least not all the time.
We can’t absolutely know what’s ever around the next bend and that’s an uncomfortable thing, but we can get used to it. I’ve heard it a few times before, launch often but know when you shouldn’t. I believe that’s generally true because it helps us get comfortable with the discomfort and to a certain extent, the same could be said about relationships too (have and maintain them often but know when you shouldn’t).
The best times I’ve had and when I’ve grown the most are when I’ve jumped in with both feet and gave everything I didn’t know a run for its money. Sure I’ve done things I wouldn’t do again, but that’s how I learn, live, and love in the moment.
So with that in mind, let’s take a deep breath and jump.
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