April post

Epiphanies. I don’t have many. Epiphany is defined as a moment in which you suddenly see or understand something in a new or very clear way. I am trying to keep religion and the supernatural out of this definition, although the word is often used with those two terms.

As I stated in February I have no clue why I am writing this on this site, except that I feel bad for the account. I know accounts aren’t alive nor do they have feelings. However, I feel like I should give it some effort. There are so many websites. It was surprisingly easy for me to sign up to this one. I don’t think an essay a month can’t hurt it or me.

I keep telling people I’m a writer and I am when the planets align and the family I live are asleep. My real life often clashes with the Internet writing life. It is my grand life goal to have them live in harmony. This is written about often; one day I am going to settle it.

This website feels nice. It feels like a place where professionals hone their craft. There is nothing but the words coming out of people heads here. Some are thought provoking inspirational, funny, educational and entertaining. I don’t know when I am going to write like that. It is one of my overall goals as a writer. It is right under becoming a critical success which is under becoming a commercial success. Commercial success means people are buying my work, critical success means they are reading it. That is my 2 cents theory anyway.

I haven’t looked at what I wrote and posted in February. I believe it was a reluctant introduction. I don’t know if I mentioned that I write speculative fiction mostly. Many of my story ideas are under some type of development. My day job, which is mostly at night is caregiver. For a long time, I thought I would just write my stories for my personal enjoyment and whoever reads my website/blogs might see them, might like them. My intelligent entertaining creative stories would move through the internet and by word of mouth gain fame, mystically find its way into the ear of a publisher, who would then seek me out and offer me a wonderful deal, to produce more books. I would become the next new thing in fiction. I had this dream way before Stephanie Meyer, E. L. James, maybe during the initial time of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter fame, somewhere between book 4 and 5. I didn’t think at the time that I had it in me to self publish.

What changed? Not sure it could be pin pointed, in late 2014 I wasn’t able to continue attending a writer’s group. I decided to look one up online. I didn’t find one. I did realize that YouTube is more educational than I once thought. It did introduce me to indie authors who are willing to share information about the industry and that was that. I saw my path. I need more content though. I need more of my fiction to be out in the world. I am working on it.

This conclusion is not better than the other. This writer needs to improve. I know this. I may write about it and post it here. It might be posted somewhere else. Initially this was April rant. I recently saw a rant and this is not that. This is me trying to make sense of a writer’s journey. Not even for the very few that will be reading this but for the writer herself. Knowing is half the battle.