#electionwinnerbuysthedinner

In thirteen days, we will, theoretically, have elected a new President. But the real work of the next four years will not take place in the Oval Office. The work of healing must begin where the pain of division began: in our communities. Interested in being an agent in that process? Here’s a place to start…

Right now, before the election, find someone in your life who’s voting for the opposing candidate. Make a deal: If your candidate wins the election, you’ll buy the other person dinner. If their candidate wins, they treat you. The dinner is not for gloating or pity, but simply to engage someone from the other side and to enjoy something you have in common. It’s unreasonable to bar discussion of politics at this dinner, but here are some ground rules that might improve its prospects:

1. If you must talk about why you voted as you did, focus on using “I” statements. Speak only from your own experience.

2. Do not attempt to invalidate the other person’s experiences. If you must counter, simply provide an example of your own.

3. Ask questions, and listen to the answers. Make it your goal to understand, not convince. The election is over.

4. Avoid hyperbole and black/white thinking. Embrace nuance.

5. Look for the values underneath the vote. Challenge your assumption that the other person is either evil or dumb.

Imagine if thousands of ordinary people around the nation refused to judge their neighbors as they were presented on news networks, and instead made a point to seek them out and share their lives. Imagine if we entertained the possibility that someone could oppose us politically and still be a good person. Imagine if, on November 9, thousands of people sat down in restaurants to participate in #electionwinnerbuysthedinner. What might we discover about each other? About ourselves?

Let’s find out.