Medication refill

So I got my medication refilled today. I paid my copay, but before the tech gave me the bottle I had to sign a paper that says I declined being counseled by the pharmacist. I hesitated longer than you might think — you’d understand if you knew what my pharmacist looks like. But, I was in a hurry, and she looked pretty busy, and anyhow that would be WRONG.

The bottle didn’t look right. Don’t you hate those labels, which are hard to peel off? So it’s impossible to repurpose the plastic vials, and they end up in the landfill. As if I don’t feel enough environmental guilt about using plastic bags to pick up my dog’s leavings.

But this time they put layers of labels so they are sticking out the side like a pinata. Apparently there is too much essential information to fit on the narrow cylinder, so they folded them in the middle so they protrude. It looked and felt wrong. It ruined the symmetry. There is not not nearly enough symmetry in the world as it is. Who can bear to see a perfect cylinder spoiled by a paper tag? Sartre would have freaked out completely if frequented Rite Aid.

I haven’t had a compulsion to scrape something off this intense since I outgrew zits. But if my pharmacist (did I mention how highly I think of her?) thinks I need to know this message, I guess I should read it. But the print was waaay too small. So I had to hunt for my reading glasses. What a pain in the rear! Still too small . What, do they expect me to schlep to the basement to take out my ELECTRON MICROSCOPE? Finally, I managed to find my magnifying glass:

“you might experience drowsiness when taking this medication. Alcohol might enhance this effect.”

Gee, thanks for the warning! Who would have ever thought that if you drink ALCOHOL with your MEDICATION you might get DROWSY. There goes five minutes of my life I’ll never get back. I should have taken the counseling.

I sure could use a drink.

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