It’s About Time…

It’s About Time……for What??

I went to ‘The Class’ a couple of weeks ago and the instructor kept repeating this statement that totally got to me and made me feel emotional for some reason? She kept saying ‘It’s about time’. This is all in the context of a very intense workout where she told us to stop apologizing, show up and just be free. Lots of yelling out loud too, primal style and free movement — anything goes. That statement really got to me- like it cut right through everything I tell myself to the deeper truth that tends to be quiet, buried and often ignored.

It made me curious-what is it about time for? And why did that trigger so much emotion? The implication is that it’s something I’ve been ignoring- that’s why it is finally time for it. Any time I bump up against the truth, there is emotion behind it. That’s how I know it’s really true. It runs deeper.

The answer was that it is about time I slow down and give myself more breathing space. This is the opposite of how I operate. Although I ‘know’ this is important to do, I don’t give myself permission. I feel guilty for ‘wasting’ time so I max out most days as much as possible. I know this runs deep in my wiring. My mom used to say that if there was a party in the tri-state area, I would be there. Bottom line: I don’t like missing out. On anything. Social, learning, work opportunities- all of it. Part of it is a serious case of FOMO, but I read a book this summer that helped shed some light on it from another angle.

The book is called ‘The Archetype Diet’ by Dana James. I am typically not into ‘diet’ books, but after hearing her interviewed on a podcast, I found her to be relatable and thought that she had an interesting and holistic approach to women’s health and well being in general, so I was keen enough to buy the book. The premise is that there are four archetype categories for women and these archetypes also have an impact on our hormones, body chemistry and therefore how and where we gain weight. She offers different nutrition suggestions based on your dominant archetype and there is a quiz to determine which one you are. They are the Nurturer, Wonder Woman, Femme Fatale and Ethereal. My diagnosis was not surprising: Wonder Woman. I need to do everything and also hold myself to an unrealistically high standard, coupled with a sometimes paralyzing fear of being wrong. This woman totally had my number. None of this was new information to me yet- though I did find it interesting that your archetype could be related to which foods were better suited for your body and also how you would gain weight.

Her point of more interest was that each archetype derives their self worth from something different- that’s what was driving the ‘diagnosis’ if you will. Where does your self worth come from? The Nurturer derives her self worth from caring for others and often at the expense of caring for herself. The Wonder Woman derives hers from accomplishments. Boom. Eye opener. The fact that I like to be busy and have a perfectionism issue is not news to me. The idea that I am deriving my self worth from my accomplishments is. I’m not sure how I missed that in myself? The judgment and sword I’m holding over my head to DO more whether it is to make dinner from scratch or fulfill my career potential, is real. I don’t think that wanting to do either of those things are wrong or bad: however, my self worth should not depend upon them.

It’s surprising to discover how hard I am on myself when I frequently say out loud to others that we’re all whole and complete, and it’s our intentions and way of being that are more important than what we’re doing. Having children has shown me that. They are born beautiful and complete and are loved for their being before they even say one word! Clearly I have strayed from that when it comes to myself. I know I’ve even written about this before and here it is coming up again.

Here are the two takeaways I have from this little summer lesson as we head into a new season.

Jen, please remember the following:

1- It’s great that you want to do so many exciting things and grow, but you’ll enjoy them all a lot more AND not be as rushed if you allow for more space. The things you do are important, but who you are is more important and you are already that.

2- Try going gluten free in Sept (bet you weren’t expecting that, right?). One of Dana’s suggestion for the Wonder Woman is to avoid gluten. So, I’m up for giving it a try as an experiment and we’ll see how I feel at the end of the month.

Connect with Jennifer: jen@lop.today @ http://lop.today

Jennifer Daily Gress

Written by

Speaker, Yoga Teacher, Mom of 3, ex-CPA

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