I’m now 25; so here are 25 lessons life has taught me so far

On October 23rd I turned 25. A quarter of a century years old… man I’m young! Instead of doing the usual celebration with alcohol and friends, I decided to sit by a lake to take some pics and do some mindfulness practice and self-reflection while jotting down life lessons I learned. So lets see what a close friend — life — has taught me so far.

1. Life is not fair.
   There’s a common saying that goes, “You play the cards you’re dealt”. For anyone unfamiliar with this term, it means to accept (or deal with),and make most of one’s current situation. No matter how bad or good your hand may be, there is one fact that holds true — every day has the potential to be amazing. I’m not going to lie — life sucks. But at the same time life is beautiful.
2. Find your balance.
   Finding a healthy balance is an important to inner peace. However, balance is not a final goal, it’s an ongoing practice. You have to keep practicing finding balance until you find it. Of course, you’ll lose this balance due to a change in your environment, so you’ll have to find it again.
3. Lists make sense.
   Soon after I graduated college I wrote a bucket list of 100 things I wanted to accomplish in my life. This gave me a straight path I needed to take in order to reach these personal milestones and to live life regret-free.
4. Do things you’re passionate about it.
   Life is short and you shouldn’t be wasting your time doing things you’re not truly passionate about. Quality of life goes up if you have a reason to get up every morning. So don’t let societal pressures alter your life decisions and how you should be living your life. Write a list of things you’re passionate about, and wake up and be excited to do those things!
5. There is nothing wrong with being selfish.
   I feel like selfish has this negative connotation to it and I don’t understand why. The only person that gets to live your life is you, yourself. So if you need to sleep or study instead of hang with friends then you should feel 0 guilt for choosing to do so. You should always be prioritizing your own health before anything or anyone else, because no one else will be doing it for you.
6. Go life at your own pace; it isn’t a race.
   The average lifespan of a US citizen is roughly 78 years. For me, that’s 53 years left of living to do. No one in is this world should be telling you how to live your life, or at what age you should be reaching certain milestones. So find a balanced and healthy lifestyle that fits you best so you can continue to grow even at 70. This thing called life isn’t a sprint.
7. Always count your blessings.
   We tend to give more of our attention to the negative parts of our life. This happens because we’re overloaded with all the good that happens that we start to take things for granted.
   Piggybacking off of #1, there are people far more unfortunate than I am. There has to be at least one little thing that made me happy today. If I look hard enough I’m sure I’d find one, and if I looked harder I’d have a list full.
8. Genuine kindness can go a long way.
   I’ve lived 25 years so far and there’s one thing that hasn’t changed — there’s a whole lot of much hate in this world. So why add to the toxicity? I’m not saying you have to go out of your way to come across as nice. But a simple smile not only lightens your mood but it’s also contagious. So if you spend more time smiling you’ll see more people around you in a happier mood which in return will you feel enlightened.
9. Not everyone thinks like you.
   Nor do they believe the things you believe and act the way you would act. Remembering this fact has helped me in understanding and getting along with the people that I come across.
10. Change is inevitable; Change happens slowly.
    Change is inevitable, so don’t avoid it. In business, and even in personal growth, change is vital. You cannot grow as an individual if you’re doing the same routine with the same mindset while in the same environment.
11. Don’t stop growing.
    Life shouldn’t be seen as a parabola where you hit a “peak” at a certain point and everything goes downhill from there; instead, life should be seen as a monotonically increasing graph until you’re living no more.
    No matter where you are in life, you could always be better. So don’t stop getting smarter, and don’t stop chasing your dreams.
12. It’s okay to ask for help.
    I think of myself as brutally independent so I still have a difficult time with this one. I’ll struggle to the point where I’m causing self-harm before I ask for help from anyone. So I occasionally have to remind myself that it’s okay if I can’t do something on my own.
    The people you surround yourself with should want to see you succeed and they are there in your time of need. But there’s one catch — you have to ask.
13. Don’t compromise your own values or goals.
    The only person that’s there for you 100% of the time is yourself. Keeping that fact in mind, you shouldn’t have to do anything that would take away any progress or value to your goals or morals.
14. Be yourself, and love yourself.
    Being able to love yourself is crucial to happiness and independence. I’d rather live a life where I have total freedom to be myself than to live in fear of judgement from others. You can’t force someone to love you, so be you an example and be yourself. You’ll not only be happier, but the people who belong in your life will come and find you and stay.
15. Your feelings will not always be fully reciprocated.
    First, act the way you do without an expectation. Yeah, It sucks when you devote so much time and effort to a relationship but the same isn’t done in return. And it sucks when your love is turned into hate. But if the feelings were truly mutual, then the effort will be equal.
16. It takes time to build something, but only second to destroy it.
    Choose wisely how you spend your time and money. You could spend a fraction of your lifetime saving up for a house, but it only takes a brief moment for it all to burn down and you may get some of your money back, but you definitely won’t be getting your time back.
    The same goes for things non-tangible such as relationships. For most people it takes time to gain a person’s trust but only a second for it to go away.
17. You always have a choice.
    You have complete control of what you do and where you end up. If you’re stuck in an undesirable situation, you have all the power to make choices to better your situation.
18. Motivation is fleeting; discipline is unyielding.
    It’s easy to rely on motivation because it requires no concentrated effort to get. It’s better to cultivate discipline than to rely on motivation. Force yourself to get up and work even if you’re lazy or simply don’t want to.
19. money != success.
    This raises the question — what is success? And I don’t have an answer to that. But I can say with certainty that being rich does not necessarily mean you’re successful. I spent the majority of college studying so I could get the highest paying job out of graduation, but that only led me to be unhappy throughout most of my time at college.
20. True friendship grows over time regardless of distance.
    I strongly believe that a friendship doesn’t need daily conversation or to constantly be together. As long as the relationship lives in the mind or heart then your true friends will stay.
    It’s natural to drift from friends. It just means that the path you guys are taking are going in opposite directions, and this isn’t a bad thing! You’ll never know when you’ll cross paths and get the opportunity to rekindle that friendship. I know for a fact that there are people in my life currently that I didn’t think would be. So you shouldn’t burn bridges down no matter how strong the friendship may be, because you’ll never know who you’ll run into again.
21. Life is all about perspective.
    What one believes are ups and down the other sees as growth. Two people could experience the same exact event but have a complete different emotional-response.
22. Treat every single person as their own individual.
    To put it another way — don’t judge a book by its cover. We are quick to give judgement or create an opinion on a person whether that be by the color of their skin, wealth, fame, etc. But every person has their own unique story and you should never assume otherwise. It isn’t fair for the other person and yourself when you already decided the persons’ personality when they only spoke 2 sentences.
23. Talk less — listen more.
    Humans are intelligent, and you never know what you might learn from a person your socializing with. Going from an extrovert to an introvert, I noticed how much more I was learning by just actively listening and picking out the information that I want to bother remembering.
24. Move on and live life.
    Mindfulness is tough, and it takes a lot of discipline to live in the present moment. Good or bad, life will come at you whether you’re ready or not. There is no “right time” for the plans or goals you may have. Time is an illusion and gives a false guidance on how to live. The only time you have is now, so figure out the next steps to better your situation or check off items on your bucket list. There’s a lot to life, even more than you and I know right now, and you only have one life to live it so go live it.
25. Beauty is more than just what is on the outside.
    I’ve met plenty of girls who were attractive but had an ugly personality. Outer appearance is visually appealing and all but I’d prefer to have something more. I’d rather spend my time with someone who has a personality that brings comfort to my soul 24/7.