Pushing forward…

Life’s a fickle thing, ain’t it? It seems as if one day your entire life is planned out, with each succeeding moment unraveling before your eyes. Then the next day comes and it all comes crashing down and you’re back to square one.

Here comes the inevitable question.

“Why me?”

You ask, your arms raised and clenched fists shaking towards the heavens.

Whenever something untoward happens to us that seems to be the first thing that comes to mind. When the girl in class doesn’t like you back, when you don’t get into your dream school, when you don’t get your dream job….it seems as if we feel this sense of anger and disappointment when we don’t get what we want.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s how it was meant to be.

You see, do you ever really ask yourself “why me?” when something good happens to you? A roof over your head, food on your table, friends and family all around you — “Why me?”

We never question how we got so lucky to have the basic necessities some people would give literally anything for. Yet, it is in human nature to focus on the things that we don’t have — things that are not in our control. For, it seems as if we have this unattainable urge to want what we can’t have.

There is something so frustratingly alluring about that one person or that one thing that seems to be just out of our reach. They remain a constant fixture in our minds; playing with our fantasies, pulling on our heartstrings, making us yearn endlessly for more. And it sucks. We build this world of imagination that seems so perfect in our eyes. We don’t imagine flaws, we ignore shortcomings, and we quiet all voices of concern and reason. Why? Because we end up enjoying an idealized version of our dreams, not realizing that reality isn’t always as perfect as we craft it out to be.

Now, here, this isn’t an essay meant to end your dreams and aspirations. This post is to help me and hopefully many of you realize that oftentimes life gets better when you push forward from these romanticized ideas, wake up and smell the coffee, and don’t give a damn.

(Oh how I wish the title of this article could have been “Don’t give a damn” but profanity in the title would not have been the smartest move on this very public forum)

Rejection hurts. And every single time I’ve come across it I find myself on the phone with my mother; crying, cursing, and calling out to God asking “Why me?” time and time again.

And regardless of how many times I’ve called her at the most absurd hours of the night, she would tell me the exact same thing.

“Wake up and push forward.” (The “Don’t give a damn” was added by me).

Easier said than done, the first step must be taken. A conscious effort must be made to simply let go and move on. Now this isn’t something that can be done overnight — it’s a skill that needs to be practiced and understood. It is only when you truly let go and live life purely for you and your well-being is when things start to fall into place.

Don’t fall into the trap of chasing a mirage. I’ve found myself, metaphorically speaking, stuck in a desert with nowhere to turn and no help in sight, following something that seemed to be the answer to my prayers. Only to learn I’d been fooled by a mirage — an optical illusion that had tricked me into thinking that it was something it was not.

The more you desperately want to be happier with that one person or that one thing, the more lonelier you will become. Take charge of your life. Know what to care about and what not to care about. Focus on yourself and all of the good things that have happened to you and work to change the bad. There’s really only one person in this world who truly cares about you: you.

When life seems to be unfair and when things don’t go as you originally intended, “Wake up and push forward.” I guess the saying really does hold true. Mother knows best.

Life is a wonderful, terrible, exciting, scary, confusing, beautiful maze. Doors will open and doors will close. Relationships will blossom and some will wilt. Life is an incredible journey with so much potential. Just keep in mind one more thing as you trek through its many twists and turns, “Don’t give a damn.”