Finding Joy
‘You look sad,’ I thought aloud.
She asked, ‘what reason have I to be happy?’
I had no answer. Things seemed to be going well, at least on the outside. Yet, happiness eluded her. I thought more about how I could help her find happiness, but I kept coming back to one thought: happiness should not need a reason beyond itself. Reasons might increase or decrease your happiness. Base happiness just is. Finding happiness from this philosophy though, seemed out of scope for her. That seems to be the case with most people. Base happiness just isn’t.
Happiness does not need a reason beyond itself.
Abraham Maslow published his paper on ‘The Theory of Human Motivation’ over seventy years ago. He identified that all the basic needs we have, once satisfied, allow you to work to find happiness and fulfilment. He called it the Self-Actualization Need, at the top of a pyramid of needs. It is true, you work towards happiness. With all due respect to and appreciation of the works of Mr. Maslow, I believe he got it backwards.
Marketing executives, however, have taken Maslow’s theory to heart, and through ceaseless campaigning, have convinced the masses that happiness can only be achieved by fulfilling each need, that happiness can only be purchased. So Lysol, which fulfils your safety needs by killing 99.9% germs can potentially buy you happiness, as can buying a flashy Mercedez-Benz with a 72 month finance at 2.99%, satisfying your esteem needs. All this campaigning has had the collective impact of teaching you that happiness is a commodity that must be paid for. Even when dealing with recognition and achievement, you understand that happiness follows accomplishment. And that is why we are not happy unless we are doing something, or getting something, or becoming someone. I believe the fulfilment of needs, earning power, affiliation, and finding achievement are not causal factors of happiness and satisfaction, they merely augment them.
Happiness is not a result of success and not a reward for accomplishment. In fact, happiness has little to do with material accomplishment. Happiness is an inherent property. We are happy. Success and accomplishment follow happiness. A happy person is much more likely to find success than an unhappy person, and research in happiness agrees. So it is always better to be happy than unhappy.
In today’s world, happiness has become a chase. Here is an analogy. In a Diesel engine, you need compression to achieve combustion, but it is combustion that gives you the energy for compression. With enough compression, the air-fuel mixture spontaneously combusts, which generates the energy for the next compression cycle. In this analogy, compression is happiness, air-fuel mixture is the effort, and combustion is success. But we are not engines. We are not limited by the physics that governs the Diesel cycle. We do not need an external crank to give us that initial compression. Happiness is not the destination, but the beginning of the journey of life.
