For the longest time, I took a backseat to life and simply waited for everything. I waited and hoped that someday I would be good with women; I waited and hoped that I would someday be a pro snowboarder or skater. All my life I waited for miraculous things to happen, paralyzed by irrational fears mostly, but I constantly hoped for better. No more. 2016 is my year. I will no longer allow fear to influence my life and stay stagnant. I refuse. This year, I have to make moves. “I gotta get it.” I’m 22 years old, now is the time to take action and follow my dreams. From now on, “I’m a locomotive steam rolling,” as Jay Rock eloquently put it. I am going to achieve my goals and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
I wrote this statement to head a self-contract I made for myself last year. I signed and dated it March 1st of last year. I’ve avoided sharing because I felt like it was very personal but I’ve been speaking on this narrative this whole year so far. I wanted to rewrite this mainly as a reminder and wake up call for myself. I was essentially in the same situation I was in today. I realized that I had allowed myself to stay in the same spot for far too long and that it was time to move forward.
I rewrote it today to as a reminder that I’m letting him down. I have it pinned on my wall but I know I haven’t been committing to it, because deep down I know that requires me to get out of my comfort zone which is scary. And yet, staying in that zone has only lead to being a year older without moving forward in life.
Enough. It’s time to step up.