My First Seven Jobs

  1. Folding pizza boxes in the back room behind a pizza shop. Lesson learned: origami sucks
  2. Janitor at The Olmsted Center (where presidential debates are held every 4 years) in Des Moines, Iowa. Lesson learned: high school prom attendees CANNOT hold their liquor. Also, pink puke is hard to remove from carpets.
  3. Tech intern at a chicken-feed processing plant outside Des Moines. Lesson learned: Windows 95 was a big step up from 3.1.
  4. Programmer at an insurance brokerage updating Cobol code for Y2K bugs. Lesson learned: plan ahead. Also, mainframe programming was unbearably tedious.
  5. Analyst at CGEY’s Advanced Development Center in Chicago. Lesson learned: foosball has a place at work.
  6. Consultant at Booz Allen Hamilton. Lesson learned: structured problem-solving is the most fungible corporate skill. Also the word fungible.
  7. Strategy Director at Fairfax media. Lesson learned: disruption is easy to spot but devilishly difficult to counter.
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