regrets.

According to Google, regret is a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over an occurrence or something that one has done or failed to do.

In that sense, I regret every single day and every single thing I ever did in my 24 years on earth.

In that sense, I regret being born.

I regret being born in a psychotic nerve-wrecking family that has done nothing to make me feel proud.

I regret being born in a poor family in Lebanon.

I regret the first time I learned about politics, especially Lebanese politics.

I regret ever learning to speak in a society that doesn’t care much for words except if they’re coming out of their own mouths/asses.

I regret the jobs that I took and the decisions that I made, specially in the past three years of my life.

I regret that I’ve loved certain people and wasted my energy on them when they clearly didn’t deserve it from the get-go.

I regret that I’ve upset certain people and that I didn’t upset enough people.

I regret passing quick judgments based on the first impression or how they dress, how they talk, how they walk or how they chew gum.

I regret the times I’ve spent trying to motivate people to no avail.

I regret the first drink I drank, the first hangover, the first time I lit a cigarette. I regret every time I say “I’m going to stop smoking” while lighting a cigarette or when I say “this is my last drink” every time I order a drink until I pass out.

I regret wasting your time with these meaningless regrets.

I also regret to say that these regrets are not really regrets… These “regrets” are things that shaped me to be who I am today. Who am I today? I regret that I still don’t know… then again, who knows who they are really?

Really though, to be honest, I don’t have regrets; the things I regret are the things I can’t control. Even though, I can be sad sometimes or disappointed, I’m happy with the choices I took and I’m happy that I am overcoming them or that I am working my way around them. I’m happy that every time I wake up, I say I’m going to make something out of today. Even if I end up doing nothing on that specific day, I’m happy I still have hope. And you know what they say, you have to fake it till you make it… Of course you can’t help imagining how life would be like if you were born in a different time, in a different country and in a different socio-economical situation. However, eventually, you have to adapt and since time travel doesn’t exist yet, I don’t think people should waste their time contemplating regrets.

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