My Life. After Patrick’s Reality

I am the mother of a murder victim. My son, Patrick, was a Freshman in college when he was shot to death in front of our home on New Year’s Eve 2004. It was a random attack, and it devastated us beyond words. It changed my life completely. I was a normal mother, I tended to 3 sons and a wonderful husband.

Since that night, I have been an activist and advocate for gun violence prevention and have assisted victim’s families through a national organization. For nearly 12 years I have worked with close to a dozen organizations in regards to gun safety and victim’s survivors. It has been a long and painful, albeit rewarding journey. I cannot imagine doing anything else in the wake of my son’s murder. I have two surviving sons who were only 10 and 13 when their brother was shot to death. We still live where my son was murdered, it was our choice. I also gave birth to a baby only 14 months after my college freshman’s homicide, a most unexpected turn of events, but a true blessing, indeed. Now, as the gun violence issue grows and becomes more loud, more epic and constant, I am desperate to get at least one measure of common sense law passed. Patrick’s baby brother is now 10. He has learned how to hide from shooters in his classroom, and I just am not able to understand why we, as a nation, can not make changes in order to keep our citizens more safe.

I also served as an Americorp VISTA here in my own city in order to better my community and to understand where my son’s shooter came from. For two years I worked tirelessly to find out more about the “underbelly” of my city. The part of my city that is neglected and shunned. I wanted to know that high school dropout. How he grew up. How he became that angry young man. How he became so hopeless. I developed a school based mentoring program for kids with incarcerated parents. It was a pilot program, and it was the most difficult job I have ever loved.

I identify myself as a soccer mom, a PTA mom, a devoted daughter and mother and wife. A loyal friend and a lover of mankind. I am quick to give the benefit of the doubt, and I trust easily. I grew up all over the world as an army “brat” (as we were once called), so I am quick to make acquaintances and find out life stories of strangers in just minutes. My older sons have told me that I could strike up a conversation with a rock. I have not tried that yet, but it does not sound impossible to me.

I am an unpublished author and an armchair social scientist. I own a blog site for over a year now that I have not set up yet… so, yeah. I am also a great procrastinator, the best ever.…. but I also have PTSD, so that is always a great excuse. But that excuse is getting old.

So, here I am. Trying to get something done. Trying to reach people. Trying to learn something. Trying to speak and be heard.

I am trying to survive. And help others along the way.