Death is not the end.
You Will Never Walk Alone, Fofo.
It’s a week already and everyday the reality of your passing sinks harder than the previous day. I still find it hard to come to terms with any of it. Day by day it feels like a terrible dream, one of those that you wake up from all jumpy and sweaty with your heart pounding like you just completed a fiercely contested marathon.
The thought that I would not see your beautiful smile and hear you call my name a gazillion times just to ask me the most obvious thing is all too excruciating.
You leave me with myriads of memories- the love we shared for virtually almost everything; the times we stayed up at night to play video games till morning without sleep, the times we setup table soccers to play and sometimes using the cork of bottles to play, the banter when Liverpool v Chelsea is on, times when we branch ‘onile’ to play PlayStation after school with our food monies, times where we went to retreat together and were always going everywhere together, times where we played Contra without end the first time we got hold of a video game at Bariga, too many memories to mention. I miss it all. I miss you even more.
Seeing your frail body lying on the floor, breathless and unmoving broke me in a thousand ways I could never imagine. I replay in my mind every time the exact moment I got the dreaded call. Minutes after, I still had hope that maybe our brother was wrong and there was still someway you could have been saved.
I find it hard to let you go. I find it hard that my daughter would not experience you and she would have to make do with pictures. I find it hard that I would not see you get married and have nieces and/or nephews who have your blood running through their veins. I find it all too hard to bear. But bear I must and with tears in my eyes and a hole in my heart, I leave you in the hands of God who had always known the end from the beginning.
Wherever you are, know that you were the best of us and you will always be a part of me as I always will be a part of you because there is no Batman without Robin.
You have never walked alone, Fofo. You will not start now.
I love you Fofo.
Sleep well my beloved brother.
I will never forget you.
