Jean Harris
Jul 22, 2017 · 3 min read

Kassey, enjoyed reading your article, it struck a cord and I want to share my perspective on your topic. I have lived most of my life as what I call a F.O.F. either being among the First, the Only or among the Few. I have and even ’til today; most of my time is spent in a state I term, ‘onlyness.’
Whether it was a new career, a new project, a relocation, a divorce, a layoff, a business loss, or finding a new outlook after a devastating chain of deaths of 6 family members over 18 months in my 20’s… I have gained the tenacity to build new networks of colleagues and friends. Now I am pursuing entrepreneurial endeavors working on projects focused on helping others implement healthy ways to be better than they were yesterday. I live alone with a network of predominantly virtual connections of friends and colleagues around the world. Like you, I have wide range of different thought leaders, scientists, and like and unlike minded souls with whom I spiritually relate to unconditionally through their books, their documentaries (I am truly a PBS junkie), their movies and their webinars. Of course, I cannot overlook my travel buddy, Emory, a blue teddy bear from Rhode Island who watches over me and offers up his timely perspectives to me and my friends. :-)
I have spent a third of my life as an adult orphan. The remaining family I have left; live 2700 miles away after I decided 5 years ago, at least for the time being; to put down roots in San Diego. During this time in the spirit of introspection, interaction with others, healing, and rejuvenation; this is probably about the 12th time in my life I have made another major transformation. Those of us who spend our lives, creating new beginnings realize the joy and exhilaration in exploring new intellectual, neurological, physical and spiritual topography in uncovering the evolutionary stages in the way we love and manifest our authentic self as we fulfill our respective dreams.
As a child, friends of my parents often commented that they had never seen a child like me who can play for hours by herself. Little did I know that I was building my foundation for ‘onlyness’ through

  • my imaginary voyages through books from my weekly trips to the bookmobile
  • visions I conjured up performing on stage listening to the Metropolitan Opera, every Saturday afternoon at 2 PM EST
  • the blueprints of housing layouts I created with leaves on the crisp autumn afternoons playing out various scenarios
  • vicariously enjoying the conversations or the letters my older brothers shared about their experiences traveling to other states and countries.
  • the breaks I took in the sandbox between my latest architectural designs, looking up at sky visualizing the sights, sounds and smells of places I wanted to visit around the world

Pearl and Dan, my mom and dad through their actions and through their life lessons, they taught me similar things you have learned from being alone that you shared in your article

  • self-motivation through the pursuit of excellence
  • recognize strengths and weaknesses through the assessment of self and others. Using that knowledge to determine how to plan, collaborate and leverage everyone skills in completing a task or project
  • follow your heart by fostering an environment to explore alternative ways to do things and to analytically test out ideas to pursue with the flexibility to revamp them to achieve better results
  • establish healthy relationships with friends, family and coworkers based on respect, love, compassion and understanding.

The integration of all of these components has provided me a wealth of knowledge and experiences to persevere through a number of personal and business setbacks and ultimately continue to thrive emotionally, spiritually, financially and intellectually.
Kassey, pardon me, certainly did not intend to turn this comment into a “War and Peace” type response.
Thanks so much for sharing your uplifting essence. Sending you my kindred spirit, virtual hugs and smiles!! Have a wonderful weekend!!

    Jean Harris

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