What women really want from tango
In tango both sexes are looking for more dances…beautiful ones.
A while ago I wrote about how women can get more dances in tango.
In tango, if a tanguero understand what the ladies are looking for, it will make him a more desirable partner, and ladies will long for dancing with him again.
I want to offer my point of view as a tanguera to help men becoming more desirable tangueros.
What women are looking for in tango
Once in a while I’d have a tanda likes walking on the clouds. After dancing I’d sit out tandas so I can linger in that fantasy for a bit longer. I’d go to milongas just to dance with the same tanguero again.
This kind of tanda happens only once in a while, but it keeps me going back to tango.
What makes these tandas so special?
I feel connected and secure in the embrace.
Back when I was a beginner I would be wooed by the tangueros who can lead me to do complicated sequences and exaggerated movements. It made me think that I’d appear an advanced dancer to those who were watching.
After I’ve been in tango for longer, I become less keen on “shiny steps”. I appreciate tangueros who can lead special sequences in the breath-taking variations in instrumental Pugliese, but I find a connected walk in a secure embrace in a Di Sarli’s tanda equally irresistible.
And those magic moments always happen when I feel that my thoughts are synchronized with my partner, that I feel the warmth of his palm through my palm. I feel likes merging with him as one and melting all over him.
Obsession with skill and technique
Many people are obsessed with technique and thought it would make them a better dancer, but that’s just half of the game.
To give a firm embrace, a leader needs to achieve a certain level of skill and maintain good balance. They also need a good grasp of timing in performing the sequence, the sacadas…etc.
But a tanguero shouldn’t be too obsessed with his skill.
I have tanguera friends who recall the experience of tangueros insisting in “getting things right” in the dance, they would repeat the sequence or movement when they are not satisfied. Sometimes, they might even go too far and whisper instructions in the ear of the tangueras like “Hook!”, “Pivot more”…
Tango is all about sharing the special moment in an embrace and moving together with the music. There are no mistakes in tango. If there’s one, we just tango on.
