A Confession from a Novice

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I’m a “trying hard” writer.

Yes, I admit.

At first I don’t have an idea to what I should write. On my journey of trying myself to become a writer, too many struggles which I encountered:

  1. Grammatical Error

Lately, I lost my confident in writing because I had bad grammar on my previous post. It made me fell so little in writing world. Though, many writers said that grammar is easy to fix, but it still hard for me. Even now while I’m writing this piece, I have some doubts about my grammar. Damn! How can I gain confidence again?!

2. Poor Audience

As a novice, I understand why I didn’t gain more audience. Thus, I can’t help myself to think if my posts have really sense. Every time I post a piece of writing in Medium, I always check my status and it always give me disappointments;

view=0
read=0
read ratio = 0
Recommends= 0

For twenty-two posts in Medium, I only got a total of four recommendations. Gosh! Am I really serious to continue this journey?

3. Unstable Subject Matter

I wanted to be a writer for self improvement. Now I am not writing about self improvement, otherwise, it’s self demotion. It is abrupt for me to switch into other topic. There’s a feeling of being an “unpinned soul” — doesn’t so sure to which part I should focus.

4. Envy

I know that it is bad to feel envy to anybody, especially when it comes to talent, but since this is my confession piece I should be honest at this moment. Every time I see much recommendations on others works, I can’t help myself to ask;

“Why they have lots of recommendations? Why mine is zero?”

I’m just curious; is it a normal feeling? Or I am just really an evil?

It’s a rant from a novice writer while asking any advice from expert writers.

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