When I Need Him Most

It would sound so unfair to God if I will ask: “does true love really exist?” Or how should I ask that without offending Him? How should I find the answer if I won’t ask?

Should I need to bet again just to obtain the answer? And to get hurt again?

— It’s sounds like a severe suicidal act..

And then, my uninvited visitor visits me again; the heartbreak.

— It tried to squeeze me out, and did its utmost strength in order for me to surrender the liquid from my eyes.

I am strong, I know.

I am smart, I insist.

I am a loving person, I swear.

I am sincere, I can prove.

And…

I am patience, I compiled.

There are really some things that even how much I tried to fight, I still failed.

It was because;

The strong that I possessed was limited.

The smart that I tried to insist was dishonoured.

The love that I shared wasn’t acknowledged.

The sincerity that I acquired was taken for granted.

And…

The patience that I compiled founds its death end.

I found out that;

I was weak, and I just realized.

I was stupid, and I regret.

I was soft, and I ashamed.

I was opened, and I failed.

And…

I was persistent, and it ended.

And then, I let the pain embraces me; it’s a prize of loving.

Let God heals me.

Surrender and I’ll be healed.

Ask and I’ll be provided.

Lay on His arms and He will give me comfort.

Then, I let the liquid from my eyes flew… and God wept.

Simply because…

GOD is LOVE.

-In God’s will, my man will be back-