Canceling an appointment: Good reasons + examples of polite cancellations
Sometimes something just comes up and you have to cancel an appointment: Then the right words are required. How can you formulate a rejection in such a way that the other person does not feel offended? A diplomatic approach and the right words are required. How to adequately inform the recipient of your message …
What is the goal of a rejection?
The word “rejection” is not very appealing per se — it already implies a rejection. These need to be packaged in a clever way. There are usually two situations in which you want or have to cancel an appointment:
· You cannot accept an invitation because you are already bound in another way.
· You have already accepted an invitation, but you have to cancel it later.
The primary goal is not to alienate the recipient. Diplomacy and a sure instinct are required here — otherwise it is easy to get hurt . Therefore, you should always make it clear to your counterpart that you care a lot about him / her or the appointment. It is therefore not only important how you cancel an appointment, but also when: Here it is important to contact the addressee as soon as possible.
It’s not just a matter of courtesy that you don’t wait until the end. Some want to keep a back door open so that they can perhaps take advantage of the more attractive one in the event of two overlapping appointments. But early cancellation saves your counterpart unnecessary organization and money in an emergency. For example, if you are invited to an anniversary celebration that also includes catering. And it can cause costs and inconvenience for you too if you fail to meet certain deadlines for an appointment cancellation: For example, some doctors or physiotherapists incur fees without you having used the service.
What medium should I use to cancel the appointment?
The medium depends on the predominant form of communication. If you have received an official invitation by post, you should also reply by post according to the occasion. You can cancel an appointment by letter, especially if the appointment is still a long way off. The fastest and most personal is, of course, still a phone call. This is also suitable if you have made the appointment verbally or if you are well acquainted with one another. However, it is not always possible to make a call in terms of time.
In this case or if you prefer to communicate via e-mail , you can also cancel the appointment electronically. Important here: This medium is not suitable if it is a very short-term rejection. Not everyone checks their mailbox all the time. There is therefore a risk that the addressee will not read the rejection in time. In this case, you should definitely try to reach him by phone.
Risks of awkward cancellations
If you want to cancel an appointment in writing, you should adhere to the same guidelines for serious communication as is usual in business dealings. Means: Read your mail correction , before submitting them. Do not use smileys , which are non-professional.
But your wording is also important. Depending on the choice of words, the other person may make a wrong impression . You want to avoid these impressions:
· Chaos
You have no overview of your appointments, you are completely disorganized. And if a new appointment is added, you can spontaneously agree without making any specific plans.
· Arrogance
You are a sought-after person and consider yourself very important. You make the recipient feel unimportant.
· Disinterest
You are relatively indifferent to the appointment. You would have taken it, but now you have another, more interesting opportunity.
· Ignorance
You don’t care if the recipient has ripped off their meeting before.
Cancel appointments with a reason?
Many tend to want to justify themselves. If you provide a reason for your rejection, there is always the risk of conveying one of the above impressions. When you want to cancel an appointment, there is a difficulty to overcome. You can’t always tell the full truth, because it would probably sound like this:
· I have no desire.
· The appointment with XY is more important.
· The distance and the effort are too tedious for me.
In any case, you are sending fatal signals: No desire, more important, laborious — all of this signals to your counterpart that you are not interested in him or the meeting and therefore not worth your effort. That would be an insult . Of course, you want to avoid this impression — at the same time, lies are taboo.
However, avoid lazy excuses ! Exceptions are only really plausible reasons such as illness or a car accident. In other words, emergencies or events that are beyond your control — for example if the boss puts a new project on your eye at short notice or there are short-term overlaps. The reasons for this are understandable and should be communicated openly.
Negative examples: Avoid using empty phrases
But even a toned down form in the form of an email can be unfortunate:
Hello Ms. Schneider, unfortunately I have to cancel tomorrow’s appointment. I have a headache and I also need to be rested for important appointments tomorrow. Sorry for that!
It is true that headaches understandable hindrance, but in combination with the subordinate clause, it sounds like an advanced apology for something that is an utterly important. In addition, the “sorry” seems very succinct. Further negative examples are empty phrases of this kind:
· “We are sorry, but unfortunately we have to cancel the appointment …”
· “We are sorry to tell you…”
· “Because of urgent operational matters …”
· “Unfortunately we have to cancel the appointment on …”
· “Due to the travel activity of our managing director …”
· “We apologize …”
· “Because of another urgent obligation …”
· “We apologize for any inconvenience,…”
Such formulations sound trite and aloof — applicants are also familiar with these types of phrases from application rejections . The writer hides behind the sophisticated office language (“cancel”, “urgent obligations”, “operational matters”). The addressee does not find out any specific reasons (the “travel activity” can just as easily be of a private nature). However, this can even more provoke brooding of the caliber “My concern is obviously not important enough”.
Examples of diplomatic formulations
Clearly — it sounds different with a friend or acquaintance than when you cancel an appointment with an important customer. But of course the goal is the same: you want to avoid hurt. Therefore, if you cancel an appointment, it is important that you express reasonable regrets. This cannot be achieved with flippant formulations or clichéd language, which also arouses negative associations. Instead, you should choose a personal and individually appropriate style of speech. And this is how you can set up your appointment cancellation:
Show interest
Emphasize that the appointment is fundamentally important to you. This is how you signal interest and appreciation :
· “I was really happy about the invitation to …”
· “First of all, thank you very much for the friendly invitation …”
Describe the circumstances
If you want to prevent your rejection from burdening the business relationship, you should not hide behind vague statements. If someone has shoveled free time for you on a specific date, the cancellation is a nuisance. Why only good reasons apply — such as the exceptions outlined above or something that can have a decisive influence on your future, such as an interview. When it comes to invitations to events, it is also important to find suitable formulations and, for example, to refer to force majeure:
· “I would have liked to keep our appointment, unfortunately I have to be in XY for an interview at the same time.”
· “I find the presentation on XY extremely exciting. Unfortunately, I’m already at the conference in Prague that day. “
· “I wish it were different, but customer XY changed the framework. The project is supposed to start next week and my commitment is required here. “
Cancel the appointment
Depending on the type of your appointment and how serious the circumstances are that you can finally cancel or postpone an appointment. Of course, you cannot postpone an invitation to the wedding . But you can still attend a meeting , for example, if you are only ten minutes late . You can formulate accordingly:
· “Therefore I unfortunately have to cancel our appointment.”
· “This time it is not possible for me to attend the meeting.”
· “I would like to reschedule our appointment.”
Give an outlook
Your regrets seem far more honest if you don’t just cancel an appointment, but try to find a new time to meet. This increases the likelihood that your counterpart will not take the cancellation personally, but rather realizes that it is not possible for you to make the appointment due to circumstances:
· “I very much hope that we can catch up with our meeting.”
· “Please let me know if you have time on DD.MM.YYYY instead.”
· “I would be delighted to be able to attend this presentation next time.”
