Wind-up with the Dawn


How ironic it is when you were excited of waking up but wishing of just waking up in a dream. See how contradicting it is when you are scared to sleep yet all you want to do is to rest and lose from everything. Imagine how confusing it is that even though you are aware of what’s right, you still risked to the opposite side. Dug-in to how messed up you are right now. Before, I thought there would be no mess other than the pile of unorganized closet. But now, I can recognize myself as one. Ruined.

Tangled hair, no… tangled mind
Jumbled words, no… jumbled feelings
Missing book, no… missing you
August 31, 20** (3:17 am)
-I woke up, I woke up feeling that I shouldn’t have. I woke up with a big-humongous surprise… I woke up accepting the responsibility to end one of the treasures of mine. I woke up with tired eyes instead of energized aura… I woke up having my
heart broken.
There’s this one person… A person who’s more likely to be my perfect definition of romantic love. The guy who showed me more about the world. The guy who introduced me to new kind of happiness. Genuine he is as how true his heart is. He showed me that fear shouldn’t be just a fear; but something to try for you to not waste a single experience. He taught me that everything deserves a chance. That everything is worth the risk. And that ‘everything’ is — -Love.
Sadly, as the month ended, it is also the surrender of what the both of us have. End to end. Tight knots to loose ends. We have to separate ways. We have to separate ourselves from the recklessness to what is should be done. Everything has its own limit, and ours, yeah we reached the peak. We’ve gone so far. So far and high that we have to fall hard to be brought back to where we should just be. Sadly, we got the right person at the wrong time. Perfect definition. It is not our time. Sadly, we just have to accept those “You’re too young!” and hear each’s devastation. Sadly, our story isn’t a fairy tale nor tragic… just simply not a happily ever after.
What now? Sadness covered-up the Love the time has taught me. Pain deleted my whole persona. And now, all I could continue isn’t life… but the agony my heart lives to…


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