.

She was like putting your hand in fire with the complete and thorough knowledge of getting burnt. She is attitude, anger, passion, hate, sarcasm, beauty everything but secure. She has a personality to over power every major trait. But she is also afraid.

She used to be strong and she used to trust way too easily she thought the world was exactly what it looked like. And lies? “I mean why someone would need to?” she reached her age to laugh and live where she saw more of the world than she should have. She realized the presence of a greyscale. Everything was not black and white. Everything was not what she was told it was. And that realization was not as smooth as it should have been.

They call it growing up but we don’t realize how much more than that it is, it is the crushing of a soul. And the process of breaking hopes into tiny shreads. There are two ways that this can go. The weak ones fail the transaction and don’t make it to the other end. Whereas the latter half grow stronger, the hide on their backs grow thicker and they become more heartless. Prepared to survive what else is in store.

After that her mind was only accustomed to see the bad in people and things. No matter how hard she tried she could only see the negative and it blurred her vision. She had been hurt and cheated so many times that her heart grew numb to all other feelings and she realized she rather feel nothing at all than be masked by pain once again. So she give up on trying. Gave up on expecting. She settled for whatever it was that helped her breakeven because honestly that’s all she needed to survive. And she stop believing in the fact that she deserved better than mediocre.