Kuhenesis
On the first day Kuh said: It is dark and I cannot see, let there be light. And there was light.
On the second day Kuh said: I am hungry, let there be farms. And there were farms.
On the third day Kuh said: I am thirsty, I now separate the milk in the sky and the earth. And there was milk everywhere.
On the fourth day Kuh said: I am hungry, let there be milkfish. And there were bangus.
On the fifth day Kuh said: I need more milk, let there be cows. And there were cows.
On the sixth and seventh day Kuh rested, because there shouldn’t be any work on those days.
And Kuh made man and woman. And told them they could eat and drink anything from the Farm of Eden, but not drink milk from the Cow of Knowledge, for its milk will surely kill them. But then evil took form of an einhorn and poked and neighed and pranced around them.
Man and Woman were scared and entered the stable of the Cow of Knowledge. Ans they were left there for days for fear of the weird, dancing einhorn.
Starving, Woman said: Let us suck this cow.
And man replied: OK but you suck first.
And they sucked from the Cow of Knowledge.
When they sucked the Cow of Knowledge, it died, and they became aware of their nakedness and sucked each other, then made blankets out of the Cow of Knowledge. Soon Kuh descended from Hacienda and looked for the Cow of Knowledge, for he was thirsty.
Kuh asked Man and Woman: WHERE THE **** IS MY COW?!
And man answered: It is not here for it has been sucked. Woman told me to.
And woman said: We were hungry and thirsty so we sucked it. Because the einhorn was dancing something disturbing.
And Kuh said: Since you sucked my cow dry and then sucked each other, I banhammer you from the Farm of Eden, so you have to make your own farm.
To the woman Kuh said: Since you sucked first, you must suck your man, but it is not milk that will come out.
To the einhorn Kuh said: since this is all your fault, you shall not exist foreverandeverandeverandeverandeverandeverpiwiwiwiwiwiweee. Also, you are now gay.
So Kuh Banished them. And placed a Security Guard with a +20Flaming Batuta of Doom to guard the Farm of Eden.
