Honey Badger Method of Changing Negative Self-Talk

I want to give you a quick and dirty reference to replace your negative thoughts. Enjoy!

Honey Badger Method of Arguing Negative Self-Talk

What if __________happens? Fuck that. If _______ happens, I’ll deal with it then. Why am I torturing myself? Can I see the future, really? MOMF

What if ___________ doesn’t like me or isn’t happy with me? Tough shit. My true friends will accept me for who I am even if I make a mistake. My job isn’t to make others happy. Who the fuck is worried about making me happy? MOMF

I should/shouldn’t; he should/shouldn’t; she should/shouldn’t; they should/shouldn’t; this should/shouldn’t be happening. Who the fuck am I to determine what should/shouldn’t happen? Things happen because they happen. Stop judging. Wait and see what happens next. MOMF

I can’t….. I haven’t yet learned to ……. But I will. MOMF

I never/always; He never/always; She never/always; They never/always. Rarely are things always or never. Stop being a drama queen/king. If I continue feeling sorry for myself, I will be pitiful. MOMF

This is terrible, awful! Well, things haven’t turned out the way I wanted. I’m going to stop judging like an asshole and let go. I wonder what will happen next. MOMF

I can’t take this….. WTF? Am I that weak? I am what I tell myself. I will stop telling myself what I can’t do, and start focusing on what I have done and can do. MOMF

This isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair for sure. What will I do with the hand that I am dealt? I will stop feeling sorry for myself and do something. MOMF

This is too hard. Everything worthwhile in life is hard. Otherwise, I wouldn’t appreciate it. Celebrate the difficulty. Imagine what I will learn and how I will grow. MOMF

I can’t say no. I choose not to say no, but I can do it anytime I am ready. Life will not come to an end. As soon as I say no, I give someone else the opportunity to say yes. MOMF

I can’t leave the situation. I choose to stay, and if I choose to stay, I accept where I am and that it won’t change until I change it. If I choose to stay, I will own it and stop complaining. MOMF

People won’t like me if I am not positive or happy all the time. Who the fuck cares? If people don’t like me for who I am, they aren’t worth having around. MOMF

I need to feel like everyone approves of me. No, I’m used to feeling like I have to earn approval. If someone doesn’t approve of me (and I am not misbehaving), fuck them. All that matters is how I feel about myself. If I don’t feel good about myself, I need to take a hard look and see what I need to fix. If I go around trying to earn approval from everyone, I will never know who I am. Plus, it is a losing game. MOMF

I need to not make mistakes. No one likes to make mistakes, but celebrate them. They are a great opportunity to learn! Mistakes are life’s best teacher. No one likes someone who seems perfect anyway. MOMF

I can tell what _____ is thinking. OMG! I’m psychic. I wonder if I can tell the lottery numbers too. Not only can I not tell what _____ is thinking, I’d be surprised to know _____ is not thinking of me. _____ is thinking of him/herself and probably porn. MOMF

I am a loser, stupid, idiot…. How does it help to label myself and beat myself up? I may have made a “bad” choice. Join the crowd. I will stop stabbing myself with the second arrow. MOMF