MOMF Dating Advice: Skip the Jackass Festival #MOMF #Dating

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My niece recently moved from one city to another. She is successful, smart, and fun. I convinced her to sign up for online dating. We were hanging out in a hotel together, and she calls me over to look at profiles. Talk about comic relief. I was crying from laughing so hard. Folks consult me about the slim pickins and scam artists on these sites, but holy shit, this situation is jacked. It has me thinking about dating advice for people who don’t buy into the mind fuck of online dating.

1. I don’t like the idea of judging someone by the photo, but if it is a selfie in front of the bathroom mirror showing skin, swipe that shit away. (For those of you who are posting this because it seems like the cool thing to do, no one wants to see that bullshit. It communicates to the reader that there are emotional delays.)

2. If you come across a profile of someone who is consulting internationally or working internationally, don’t bother. This is the international sign of a “I’m going to fuck you over”. Whatever you do, don’t send money.

3. Eliminate most of the bullshit by being 100% yourself. No games. If people don’t like that, they can MOMF. It will really save you a lot of time.

4. You aren’t desperate. Stop acting like you are. In fact, act like you are the best person anyone could possibly find. Set the bar high.

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5. Get off line and into life. Pursue the things you love. That is where you will meet people who share your interests. Have a vision of the person you want to meet, and then go places that person might be. For example, if you like art, go to art shows. If you like auto racing, go to races. If you are into the environment, join a cause. Fundraise for a political candidate. Get your ass out there. That is how you will meet the right person.

6. Make a list with 3 columns. Once column is “Must Have.” One column is “Must Not Have.” And one column is “Doesn’t Matter.” Fill the columns with what you want in a relationship. Look at meeting someone as finding the right job. Visualize yourself as an awesome, must-have motherfucker. Have an image in your mind’s eye, and make it happen. The energy you emit will attract the right person.

7. Be patient, motherfucker. No forcing something that isn’t meant to happen. When it is right, it will feel right. Easy breezy. Honeymoon for the first year.

8. Be okay being alone. You want a relationship. You don’t need one. Neediness attracts control freaks. Fuck that. Make your relationship the icing on your fucktasticness.

9. Don’t give up. Dating is hard…. Harder than finding the right job. I wish I could tell you it is easy. Nothing worthwhile in life is…..

10. Have some fun! Honestly, some of the best, most funny stories I’ve heard are dating shitshows. If you can detach from the frustration, it makes for great fun to share with friends.

I know a lot of wonderful, beautiful people who are looking. If you are like them and can’t find the right person, you are not alone. It isn’t you, but it may be your method. It may also be that love is best found while living life. #MOMF

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