i loved you, but now you’ll never know how much i still do
Every note, every strum of “Burnout” feels like a dagger piercing through the heart of someone who’s ever loved and lost. It’s like the song was crafted to echo the silent screams of those nights when sleep eludes you, and the weight of memories becomes too heavy to bear.
The first time you heard it, maybe you were in a jeepney, staring blankly out the window as the city lights blurred into one. “O, ‘wag kang tumingin nang ganiyan sa ‘kin,” Ebe Dancel’s voice croons, and you feel that familiar sting. Don’t look at me like that, don’t ask me why. Because just like you, I’ve changed too. The words dig deep, reminding you of a love that once was — a love that morphed into something unrecognizable, leaving both parties adrift in an ocean of uncertainty.
Think back to the time when everything was simple. You and your significant other, wrapped in the blissful cocoon of love. “Dahil katulad mo, ako rin ay nagbago. ‘Di na tayo katulad ng dati,” he sings, and it’s like he’s reading your mind. The swift passage of time has swept you both away, leaving only echoes of laughter and whispers of what could have been. The fleeting nature of time, how it transforms everything, is a brutal reminder of life’s impermanence.
Remember those long, sleepless nights? The ones where you found yourself wide awake, heart aching, staring at the ceiling as you replayed every moment over and over again. “Kung iisipin mo, ‘di naman dati ganito,” the song continues, a painful reminder that things were not always this way. There was a time when you both looked at each other with nothing but love, a time when misunderstandings didn’t cloud your bond. But life, with its relentless pace, has a way of pulling people apart. “Kay bilis kasi ng buhay, pati tayo natangay,” and it feels like a punch to the gut. Life is fast, and somehow, you both got swept away.
It’s strange, isn’t it? How something that once brought you so much joy now brings nothing but pain. “Tinatawag kita, sinusuyo kita. ‘Di mo man marinig, ‘di mo man madama.” The helplessness of reaching out, calling their name, trying to bring back the magic, only to be met with silence. You’ve tried, you’ve really tried, but sometimes, love isn’t enough.
You sit there, alone, letting the song play on repeat. “O, kay tagal din kitang minahal.” For so long, you loved them. You loved them with every fiber of your being. You gave them everything you had. But sometimes, love changes, people change, and you’re left with nothing but memories and an aching heart. The realization is like a cold, hard slap to the face. You loved them for so long, but now, all you have are the remnants of what used to be.
But then, time came in like a thief in the night, stealing those moments away bit by bit. You recall the little things that once brought so much happiness — the laughter, the late-night conversations, the unspoken understanding. “Kung iisipin mo, ‘di naman dati ganito.” Those words echo in your mind, there’s a bitter irony in how something so beautiful can be a source of such deep sorrow.
The streets you once walked together now feel lonelier. The places you visited are filled with ghosts of happier times. “O, kay tagal din kitang minahal,” Ebe’s voice resonates, as you remember the love that was your anchor. You try to grasp at fragments of the past, but they slip through your fingers like sand. The realization that things will never be the same again is a heavy burden to bear.
And then, there’s the silence. That deafening silence after the music stops, after the tears have dried. You’re left with a heart that’s been hollowed out, a void that no one else can fill. The song’s final lines, “O, kay tagal din kitang mamahalin,” linger in the air, a poignant reminder of a love that was, a love that will always be a part of you. It’s a promise that transcends the boundaries of time and space, a love that, despite everything, will never truly fade away.
As you sit there, alone with your thoughts, you come to a painful yet profound realization: sometimes, letting go is the only way to move forward. It doesn’t mean you’ll forget; it means you’ll carry a piece of them with you, always. In every heartbeat, in every breath, in every whispered memory. And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough.
So, let the tears fall. Let the pain wash over you. For in this heartbreak, there is also a kind of beauty — a testament to the depth of your love, a love that was real and true. “Burnout” isn’t just a song — it’s a journey through the landscape of your heart, a reminder that even in the midst of sorrow, there’s a quiet strength in holding on and in learning to let go.
The hardest goodbyes are the ones that linger in silence, the ones where you never had the chance to say, “I loved you, but now you’ll never know how much I still do.”
