Is Camaraderie Missing from Civilian Life?

Ever since I have left the military in 2012, it has been a struggle to find decent people to associate with. To me, that has to do a lot with the missing camaraderie in the civilian population. See, in the civilian population it is not understood what the word camaraderie even means. Per dictionary.com:
“a spirit of familiarity and trust existing between friends”
Now here’s where the challenge lies: Most military camaraderie is based on experiences in the combat field, where you and a handful of other guys went through a situation that made you trust these guys with your life. You then spend a year with them where y’all have nothing to do other than build closeness with each other making the bond grow stronger.
So, if we compare the above to the civilian world we notice two things:
- There are no life and death situations that would be shared to build trust.
- There is no real reason to get too familiar with each other due to the distractions in the civilian life that doesn’t allow a strong bond.
I see many factors in the civilian life that would cause the fault between veterans and civilians
1. THE LACK OF SOCIAL INTERACTION AND SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT
In the age of social media, it is hard for people to have genuine connections in real life. It almost feels like people need to know each other online first, then meet in person while still glued to their online devices.
It’s a strange feeling looking around a restaurant noticing that most of the people are on their phones, even though they are sitting at the table with someone else.
Another observation is that people seem to live a double life: how they convey themselves online, and how they are in real life. In most cases those two avenues don’t even meet, so how can you trust someone if you know they are deceiving?
2. THE LACK OF SELFLESSNESS AND NOT ENOUGH VOLUNTEERING
Many people are spending so much time chasing money that they forget about giving back to the community. I just want to clarify, I don’t have any issue with money at all; it is a necessary item to survive in a main stream society. But I also believe that volunteering would always keep us grounded in our pursuit to building spiritual and financial wealth.
I can tell you for a fact based on my conversations with my fellow veterans, we all feel proud that we volunteered to serve this country and many of us continue volunteering through different organizations helping community as much as we can.
Trust me when I say this: volunteering is a humbling and a personally rewarding experience that always leaves me, and the recipient, happy at the end.
3. THERE’S NO DANGER IN CIVILIAN LIFE TO BOND OVER
Countless hours have been spent researching and writing articles about the effect of war or natural disasters on the communities that are involved in it. Research concluded that human bonds become stronger and people feel that they are worthy and appreciated based on their contribution to the society during the time of need.
Now this might not be as accurate in a peace time society, since everyone is occupied with their own lives and version of reality. If we take the circumstances that most veterans go through, we realize that it is hard to replace the relationships they cultivate during their service time with relationships that don’t have the same factors in their creation.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that civilians and veterans can’t have friendships. I am stating that those friendships are always going to have a certain level of weariness and boundaries from both parties. I believe that leads to a missing camaraderie between civilians and veterans.