Stop Apologizing for Your Work

Several years ago, I wrote an email to a major influencer. I was writing to ask him for something important that would help me as a writer.

But I was a little nervous, so I did what many people did. Or rather, I almost did. I caught myself at the end of the email starting to write the following: “You don’t have to do this… ”

Wait a second. What am I doing?

I was sabotaging myself, and it wasn’t the first time.

Saying “no” for other people

Did I want this favor or not? Of course, I did. So why was I trying to talk this person out of helping me?

Because I was scared he would say no. So I wanted to give him an “out.”

But I didn’t need to do that. He was well aware of his right to decline. Writing that escape clause in my email would have only weakened my request.

I was doing something most people do when they’re unsure of themselves: I was rejecting myself before someone else could.

Many of us do this from time to time. We say no for other people, because of our insecurities and fears. We apologize for our art. And it’s completely unnecessary.

What I’ve learned about influence

Here’s what I’ve learned about influencing people over the years: say something worth saying or don’t say anything at all.

If you feel like you have to apologize, then you probably shouldn’t waste the person’s time you’re contacting.

Or (and this is a big “or”), learn to be confident in what you do. When asking for someone’s help, you don’t have to end your requests with clauses like, “You don’t have to… ” or “sorry to bother you.”

When you obviously believe in your message, so will others.

Our words can influence

I believe what we say or do matters. So when we apologize for “bothering” someone or use self-deprecating comments about ourselves and our work, that’s a bad deal.

If we do this long enough, we may actually begin to believe we have nothing worth saying or doing.

Most people I know don’t believe that. They just believe no one wants to hear them.

Don’t diminish the influence of your work because you’re struggling to believe in yourself. It only undermines the integrity of your message.

Instead, take the time to develop your craft and master the discipline of believing in yourself.

If you do, then you will inspire people to join your cause and change the world in ways you nor they dreamed possible.

And where does this begin? With you. With me. With those who create and care.

If we believe in our art, so will others. It’s simple but effective. And it makes all the difference.

Take pride in your work. Trust what you have to say. Believe in your message. Or pick a different one.

But whatever you do, don’t apologize. We don’t have time for that.

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This post originally appeared on Goinswriter.com.