Jeff NewmanGary Chocolate-Bear and the Great Dog CaperGary Chocolate-bear was driving when he saw a sign outside a veterinarian’s office that said “dogs can hear four times better than humans”…Sep 3, 2017Sep 3, 2017
Jeff NewmanLepre-conThat lying sack of shit leprechaun. If I ever get my hands on him again, I’ll squeeze him until his eyeballs pop out, and mash them into…Sep 3, 2017Sep 3, 2017
Jeff Newman5 Reasons to Not Get an Oil ChangeConventional wisdom tells us that our automobiles should have their oil tested and changed every few thousand miles. But I say “not so…Jun 22, 2017Jun 22, 2017
Jeff NewmanDavid Boreanez is Seriously the Nicest GuyI had the chance to meet Bones superstar David Boreanez a few days ago at a charity function I helped organize, and he was just the most…Aug 25, 2015Aug 25, 2015
Jeff NewmanMonkeys From HellOn the day that the Earth split open, releasing a torrent of demonic chimpanzees from the pits of Hell, Jason started smoking again.Aug 13, 2015Aug 13, 2015
Jeff NewmanThe More Things Change, the More the Voices in My Head Tell Me to KillListen, I’m a guy that rolls with the punches. Here you go: last week, my neighbor made a big fuckin’ stink about my rose bush sticking out…Jul 17, 2015Jul 17, 2015
Jeff NewmanA Shield of DicksA great man once said, “Life is like a shield of dicks, you never know what you’re gonna get.” And that man was the guy from that movie…May 22, 2015May 22, 2015
Jeff NewmanWhat I Did This SummerI was driving down County Highway JJ at midnight. The radio was playing a tune by Vince Gill that I just had to sing along with because I…May 22, 2015May 22, 2015
Jeff NewmanChocolate-Bears Go for a Stroll“It’s dark, let’s go outside!” Gary Chocolate-Bear remarked to his stunned family.May 22, 2015May 22, 2015