of cracks in the token black boy, of boys
becoming harder versions of stone 
that only water can bend, of diamonds
reverting back to coal and back to diamonds before something systematically smashes through to their heart, of when broken black boys 
become fathers; who were once fatherless; who are not all fatherless,
of a black boy’s joy 
becoming an old man’s angst,
of a old man not sticking to the stuck 
he created for protection, of black boys lost in the madness that masinlinity created; trying to fix the rainbow 
thinking it was broken, of everything 
black and beautiful being pushed to a waste land, of men connecting with stress
and a cigarette in his dreams; only to be stopped by warm childhood memories tapping on his shoulder; of sunken places and metal bars never being able to catch you, of whitewashing and ba-coon-nory 
Never being the answer, of whiteness being a disease cured with a fist (which ever way you want to point it), of the "you remind me of him" broken hearts fixed with duck tape and a bottle Hennessy, of your resemblance to a king that could only communicate with me through pemanissions, of my brother: 
a broad boy: ghost in all his absence 
but haunting, of half of the things i never said to you and all of the things i dreamt about while sitting on the living room floor,
of taking a train from doubt to hope; connecting with a piece of strength,
of us black men whom know we are a piece of the black woman’s soul, of realizing you have a shadow before knowing you wear a crown, of ordered steps never being in order but still worth the chaos...