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From Postal Service video, Such Great Heights

The Twelve Days of Quarantine

Jeffrey Denny
Mar 19 · 3 min read

Jeffrey Denny

On the first day of quarantine, my true love said to me, you need to wash your hands.

On the second day of quarantine, my true love said to me, cough in your elbow, and you need to wash your hands.

On the third day of quarantine, my true love said to me, don’t touch your face, cough in your elbow, and you need to wash your hands.

On the fourth day of quarantine, my true love said to me, stay away from me, don’t touch your face, cough in your elbow, and you need to wash your hands.

On the fifth day of quarantine, my true love said to me, five helpful things: If you feel sick stay at home, but stay away from me, don’t touch your face, cough in your elbow, and you need to wash your hands.

On the sixth day of quarantine, my true love said to me, could you finally take a shower, if you feel sick stay at home, but stay away from me, don’t touch your face, cough in your elbow, and you need to wash your hands.

On the seventh day of quarantine, my true love said to me, you’re making me crazy, could you finally take a shower, if you feel sick stay at home, but stay away from me, don’t touch your face, cough in your elbow, and you need to wash your hands.

On the eighth day of quarantine, my true love said to me, sex is out of the question, you’re making me crazy, could you finally take a shower, if you feel sick stay at home, but stay away from me, don’t touch your face, cough in your elbow, and you need to wash your hands.

On the ninth day of quarantine, my true love said to me, I need a divorce, sex is out of the question, you’re making me crazy, could you finally take a shower, if you feel sick stay at home, but stay away from me, don’t touch your face, cough in your elbow, and you need to wash your hands.

On the tenth day of quarantine, my true love said to me, sorry I stabbed you, I need a divorce, sex is out of the question, you’re making me crazy, could you finally take a shower, if you feel sick stay at home, but stay away from me, don’t touch your face, cough in your elbow, and you need to wash your hands.

On the eleventh day of quarantine, my true love said to me, could you recommend a lawyer, sorry I stabbed you, I need a divorce, sex is out of the question, you’re making me crazy, could you finally take a shower, if you feel sick stay at home, but stay away from me, don’t touch your face, cough in your elbow, and you need to wash your hands.

On the twelfth day of quarantine, my true love said to me, no jury would convict her, thanks for the lawyer, she needed the divorce, to get with her new online boyfriend, although sex is still out of the question, but I made her crazy, I never took a shower, I stayed at home, but not away from her, I touched her face and coughed in her elbow just trying to be funny. And I did not wash my hands.

I should have washed my hands.

Jeffrey Denny is a quarantining Washington writer.

Jeffrey Denny

Written by

Jeffrey Denny

Written by

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