Why Does Dating Men Make Me Feel Like Shit?
Emma Lindsay

Interesting ideas but don’t think they really lead to those conclusions. Other comments explain why well.

I have similar very strong feelings of feeling physically unattractive as a straight man too FYI. I used to be very overweight and now maybe slightly.

I think the best strategy for men and women is to accept their current state but also become physically fit. Shredded abs might not be feasible but a flat stomach is a good goal.

I spent a lot of time and years in therapy learning to accept my body and myself. At the same time I was also pursuing improvement in looks through diet and exercise. Self esteem improved dramatically because I felt better about current state and actually looked better.

“Am i ugly” or similar statements are almost inherently meaningless because they’re vague and black and white. You will be physically attractive to some percentage of the population and as you “improve” your looks your percentage improves.

Obviously the time period is important and the Victorian era might’ve been better for you or me but you’ve gotta work with the current situation.

Everyone “settles” to some degree because desire and imagination are infinite. None of this invalidates or changes your feelings though which need to be worked through.

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