The exception is if you are actively working to disrupt the dominant narrative, because we need more representation of queer men of color, trans men, gay men who live in larger bodies, gay men with disabilities, and anyone who doesn’t align with the gay community’s current standards of appearance. Gay and queer men who don’t align with the norm are sorely in need of further representation, appreciation, celebration, and respect. If your social media presence is built upon challenging body norms, dismantling diet culture and white supremacy, or shaking shit up, then by all means, keep doing what you’re doing. …
On December 19th of 2019, beloved author J.K. Rowling came under fire when she tweeted her support for Maya Forstater. Forstater, a tax expert, was fired from global think tank Center for Global Development (CGD) after issuing tweets critical of the U.K. government’s proposed plan to allow individuals to self-identify their gender.
Forstater further lost an employment tribunal (the court sided with CGD) based on her belief that sex is an immutable biological fact and, as such, people cannot “change” gender. …
Mayor Pete Buttigieg of South Bend, Indiana, launched his presidential campaign on January 23rd of 2019. Buttigieg is the first openly gay candidate to run for the Democratic presidential nomination (Fred Karger ran for the Republican nomination in 2012). “Mayor Pete,” as his constituents — and now the American public — call him, publicly came out at the age of 33 during his mayoral re-election campaign via an essay published on June 16th of 2015 in his local newspaper, the South Bend Tribune. I find Buttigieg’s representation of his sexuality in the essay troubling. He says:
“I was well into adulthood before I was prepared to acknowledge the simple fact that I am gay. It took years of struggle and growth for me to recognize that it’s just a fact of life, like having brown hair, and part of who I am… We Midwesterners are instinctively private to begin with, and I’m not used to viewing this as anyone else’s business… Being gay has had no bearing on my job performance in business, in the military, or in my current role as mayor. It makes me no better or worse at handling a spreadsheet, a rifle, a committee meeting, or a hiring decision. It doesn’t change how residents can best judge my effectiveness in serving our city: by the progress of our neighborhoods, our economy, and our city services.” …
Exercise is not an activity that brings me much joy or peace of mind. My relationship to physical activity is complicated at best. Growing up, my body was perpetually a problem. The message I received from my family was that I was too big and needed to lose weight in order to avoid being teased and to fit in. I can’t remember a time when I could just “be,” where I was not worried about my appearance or my weight. After I lost some weight during my teenage years, my family mostly left me alone.
In December of 1969, Buffalo gays and lesbians gathered in the cramped and dimly-lit back room of a gay juice and coffee bar called The Avenue, located in a dilapidated building at 70 Delaware Avenue, to begin organizing for their liberation. The meeting was called by James “Jim” Garrow, a bar owner and popular fixture of the gay community, whose bar the Tiki, known for its garish Polynesian-themes decor, had been raided and closed by the State Liquor Authority (SLA). Opened in 1968 and closed by the end of 1969, the Tiki existed during a decade when Buffalo gay bars rarely stayed open for long. Prior to the 1960s, Buffalo had a thriving gay bar scene. …
“I’m doing Keto for Pride,” an acquaintance recently told me. “If my body looks better,” he explained, “I can make enough tips bartending to cover several months of rent.” Gay men dieting for Pride is not unique. I share this anecdote not to criticize someone for dieting — people can do what they want with their bodies — but to give one example of a widespread practice. Furthermore, it shows that some bodies are literally, monetarily, worth more in gay culture based on their level of desirability.
The Stonewall Inn Riots of 1969, alternatively referred to as a rebellion or uprising, are often described as the beginning of the modern Gay (now LGBTQ) Rights Movement and the most significant event in LGBTQ history. Stonewall is not solely an historical event, but has taken on a mythological status within LGBTQ history. Stonewall, however, was not the beginning of the Gay Rights Movement as a whole, nor was it the sole genesis of the liberationist phase of the movement that emerged in the early 1970s. The uprising is but one example of the shift in the tone and tempo of the broader Gay Rights Movement that occurred during this period. …
Veteran AIDS activist Peter Staley has recently been in the news for his role as the lead plaintiff in a lawsuit filed on May 14th of 2019. The suit, Peter Staley, et al. v. Gilead Sciences, Inc., et al., filed in a San Francisco federal court, alleges that four large pharmaceutical companies — Gilead Sciences, Inc.; Bristol Meyer Squibb; Johnson & Johnson; and Japan Tobacco — have rigged the composition of HIV combination drugs to contain drugs under patent. This practice results in the artificial inflation of the cost of these medications, as drugs under patent cost more than generic alternatives (Market Watch). …
Hulu’s Shrill, loosely based on writer Lindy West’s collection of essays of the same title, is one of few television shows to center an empowered and self-actualized fat woman as its lead character. Annie Easton, played by Aidy Bryant, moves toward radical self-acceptance despite being confronted by diet culture, and its toxic messaging, at every turn.
“You’re not fat fat, but you are gay fat,” said the guy I was dating at the time when I expressed that I felt like I didn’t particularly fit into gay culture.
These words, which at the time were deeply hurtful, continued to bother me for years. They illustrate the ridiculous, restrictive, and unattainable body norms that govern gay male culture. I often ponder what exactly it means to be “gay fat.” “Fat” is a social construction, a term that often functions as a general category in which we place anyone who does not meet cultural standards of size and/or appearance. …
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