When Pushing Hard Pushes Back
Moment of truth here.
I’m a productivity guy, but you know that already.
I’m ambitious.
I’m driven.
Yes, and yes.
I’m also edgy, hostile, and sometimes too angry for my own good.
Surprised?
In the last 9 months I have filed more BBB complaints against companies I work with than ever before.
I ended up in the ER in May for a stress-related condition.
I have panic attacks.
I don’t sleep much and I drink too much caffeine.
I work 80–100 hours a week by choice.
I don’t have a stop button.
Sometimes I’m a mess, and it’s hard to see any of that online. You can’t actually, because I don’t talk about it.
I have a nice headshot and a pretty website, but I’m more of a real guy than you realize when looking only from the outside.
Yes, I have a few good ideas and I share any brilliance I come across to help others — but mostly, this journey began as a cathartic practice of self-healing.
I began blogging in 2009 to figure out what I wanted out of life. That evolved into me desperately trying to answer tough questions by pushing harder.
I ran a dozen marathons, wrote a few books, and pushed harder.
I have always leaned on pushing harder — using blunt force to solve any problem.
It’s not healthy, and I know it.
I’m working on it, but it’s a journey that doesn’t have a clear ending yet.
In the meantime, know this: I am struggling too.
I have my own demons to battle and my own obstacles to overcome. I need to talk about this stuff more.
I really do.
So, if you see any outbursts from me online, you’ll now have some context as to where the passion is coming from.
I want the best for myself and others.
I have a high bar of excellence and most people fall short of it all the time.
It’s not their fault — it’s my bar.
I also fall short of my bar all the time. Maybe it’s time to take it down a notch? Maybe.
Probably.
Until then, I’ll keep trying to find what works and I’ll share the journey.
Thanks for being a part of this and for supporting me.
I am forever grateful.
