Wolfman, Too: 1
My little brother Clayton always complained that he’d been born in the wrong time. In an older era, he said, he would have been a great explorer or an adventurer. No matter how many times I encouraged him to focus on making a living in the real world, he spent all his time embroiled in either his daydreams or his self-pity, drifting from one dead end job to another. Later, from petty crime to another. I spent half my life trying to keep him out of trouble, so I can’t say I was surprised when my fiancé Dezzie walked into the workshop and announced that Clayton had joined the Wolfpack. That didn’t make the news any less heartbreaking, though.
I looked up from the brass clock wheel I’d been filing teeth into. Bits of wood dust floated like infinitesimal planets through the beam of morning light streaming through the window between Dezzie and me. The ticking of forty-nine clocks reverberated through the room.
“Has he turned all the way?” I asked, relieved that my voice didn’t tremble.
Dezzie opened her mouth to answer, then closed it again. Her lips pursed together the way they always did when she felt sorry for someone.
“They don’t always turn all the way,” I explained. “Sometimes they just ride with them, but don’t completely turn.”
Dezzie stepped through the swarming particulate worlds and took my hands in hers. “Jim, he’s one of them,” she said. “All the way.”
I tried to pull away from her but she held my hands, simultaneously gentle and firm in that way only Dezzie could manage.
A pickup-truck-full of emotions hit me. My lower lip quivered. Whether it was from rage or grief, I couldn’t really say. “Did he hurt you?”
“He didn’t do anything wrong, Jim.” Dezzie held my gaze in her hazel, amber-flecked eyes. “He was the same old Clayton, to be honest. Joking and laughing.” She attempted to smile but instead made a choking sound, like she was about to cry, and turned away from me. “That was the worst part. He kept trying to play around, but whenever he smiled I could see all those fangs. And his hair, Jim. He’s covered in red hair and he’s got his face all done up in little rubber-band braids and it just looks so freaky.”
Her body shuddered. Now it was my turn to comfort, and I hugged her from behind. One of the reasons we worked so well together was that we each knew when to pick up the other’s slack. I loved that woman more than I ever knew I was capable of loving anyone. We were going to have a life together. Not even Clayton would stop that.
“Did you tell him where I was?”
“No. He asked where you’d moved the workshop and I told him you were still out shopping for a new place. He knew I was lying.”
“Then what did he say?”
“He says he’s leaving tomorrow morning for the Triple Six Highway. He doesn’t know when he’ll be back, and he wants to say goodbye.”
“What the hell is he thinking? Nobody survives the Triple Six.”
She turned to face me. “He wants you to meet him tonight at Damon’s Pit. Eight o’clock.”
“Of course he’d pick that dump.” I went back to the brass wheel, blew some metal dust from it, and filed away at the teeth. Bad news always filled me with the need to occupy my hands. “Maybe you should stay at your mother’s house tonight.”
“Not a chance. I’ll be home in bed, waiting for you. And if you don’t come home, I’ll find that werewolf brother of yours and strangle him with his own braids.”
“Not werewolf,” I said. “Wolfman. There’s a difference.”
Dezzie smirked. “Yea, he won’t never change back to regular Clayton after the moon goes down.”
I stiffened up uncontrollably at her words. She rushed over and kissed my neck. “I’m sorry. I was trying to be funny.”
“You failed miserably.” I kissed her back. “It’s okay, but I think I need to work alone for a bit.”
She patted my hand and left, saying she’d be waiting in bed when I got home.
I lost myself in the soothing, familiar routine of my work. At that time I’d made precisely three hundred and fifteen clocks. Every single one was identical to all the others in both functionality and appearance. The challenge of maintaining that uniformity appealed to me, and I lost myself in the pleasant distraction of my labor. I couldn’t hide from the inevitable forever, though, and as dusk arrived I knew I had to face the facts, so I locked up the shop and went to my car.
I drove around Before and Afterville for a while, thinking about the past and dreading the future. The ticking of the clock-shaped houses and stores that filled the town, normally so comforting, only worsened my fear and aggravation. The entire place suddenly seemed like one gigantic reminder that nothing can stop the future — not even the past.
I finally worked up the courage to swing my car into Damon’s parking lot. My headlights fell on a motorcycle parked out front, all black and chrome with spikes running along the fenders, handlebars flailed out like bat wings. It was a Wolfpack bike. No doubt about it.
All the nerve went out of me. I pulled right back out of the lot, bought beer at a gas station, and headed up the backroads to Cherry High. From atop the wooded hill I looked out over the Stranded Void. Both moons were half-full, bright enough to reveal the edges of the Triple Six Highway running right down the center of the desert.
I drank my beer and thought about the day I’d taught Clayton how to administer purple nipple twisters. I laughed like a loon thinking of the time I tied his feet together and left him hanging from a tree branch for half an hour. Then there was the day we explored the entire length of Firewinder Gulch, something no other kids in town had the guts to do. We almost died of dehydration in the process. It was the best memory of my childhood, and front runner for best memory of my life.
Damon’s was closed by the time I drove back from Cherry High. The city was still. Only the turning of hands in the faces of a thousand giant clocks disturbed the peace. I was both relieved and saddened to find the bar shut down and Clayton gone. After close to thirty years of being brothers, the kid still had a way of mixing up my emotions.
I pulled into my driveway to find the motorcycle from Damon’s waiting at the bottom of the porch steps. I slammed the brakes and remained frozen in place, staring. Only the realization that Dezzie might be in danger snapped me out of my paralysis. I jumped out of the car and ran towards the house.
Halfway there, the sound of laughter coming out through an open window stopped me short. Clayton’s guttural, savage chortling was unnerving, but that wasn’t the thing that startled me. Rather, it was Dezzie’s high-pitched, girlish hoots.
I hadn’t heard her laugh with such carefree abandon in years.
I didn’t need to smell the beer on Dezzie’s breath or see the crushed cans covering the coffee table to guess that she was drunk. The way she tittered as she ran up to greet me told me everything I needed to know. The fact that she didn’t say anything about Clayton lounging on the couch with his dirty, cracked leather boots propped up on the coffee table said a lot, as well.
“He’s finally home!” Dezzie nearly bowled me over with a hug. “We’re having a party.”
“Hey, bro.” Clayton grinned with a wink. He was a wolfman, alright. Six feet of red hair and pointed teeth, leather jacket and grease-stained jeans. The silhouette of a wolf with bird wings was impressed upon a patch on his chest. High and wild, their motto went.
The whole scene was so strange and unexpected that it made me angry. I’d always responded to uncertainty that way. I didn’t like things that disturbed my sense of predictability. “What the hell is going on here?”
Clayton stepped towards me with his hand extended. “I just came to hang out with my bro and his fiancé before I headed out.”
Dezzie rubbed the small of my back and smiled one of those smiles that says come on, smile back. “Same old Clayton.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I said, looking at his hand without shaking it. “You need money? Is that it?”
My brother laughed. Dezzie was wrong about him being the same old Clayton. He’d changed in more ways than the obvious. The subtle, nervous awkwardness that had affected him his whole life was gone, replaced by an easy confidence.
“I’ll never turn down free money, bro,” Clayton said. “But that’s not what I’m here for. As much of a crotchety old fart as you’ve turned into, I still love your geriatric ass.”
Dezzie laughed. “Come on, Jim. Just relax. There’s plenty of beer.”
I had no desire to relax, but I did want a beer, so I sat down on the recliner. Clayton took his place on the couch and Dezzie sat cross-legged on the floor.
Clayton cracked a beer, caught the foam and suds in his mouth, and handed it to me. His eyes hadn’t changed at all. They were the same fragile-porcelain blue as always. Boyish and wounded, they were a big reason he never got punished as severely as he might otherwise have.
Dezzie grabbed the can from my hand. “Oh, you big baby, I’ll drink it.” She downed damn near the whole thing in one swallow.
Clayton cheered and howled. The sound set my hair on end, but Dezzie squealed with laughter. “I love it when he does that,” she said.
“Well, you two are certainly getting along well,” I said, my tone implying no end of depravity between them.
Their laughter stopped. Clayton had the nerve to shake his head and look disappointed. Dezzie’s eyes turned to angry coals.
“Unlike you,” she said, “Clayton has been an absolute gentleman since he got here. It’s an insult that you would imply anything else was going on. An insult to me, and to him.” She stood and headed for the adjoining bedroom. Before disappearing inside the door she added over her shoulder, “It’s good to see you again, Clayton. I had a lot of fun before your asshole brother showed up.” She closed the door firmly behind her. Not a slam. That would have been too obvious for Dezzie. No, just precisely hard enough to say everything she wanted to say, and not a hair more.
“Somebody’s in trouble,” Clayton said in a singsong way.
I resisted talking to him, but old habits won out in the end. “You’ve always been good at pissing my girlfriends off.”
Clayton smirked. “Annie Davies.”
He didn’t have to say anything more. Both of us broke up laughing. The more I tried to resist, the worse it got.
We brought the beer to the back porch and sat on the railing, side by side. Bell-crickets chimed in the warm darkness. Clayton took a deep breath. “Why did God invent any smells other than summer grass? That’s the pinnacle right there, man. No need to go further.”
We talked about the random little things that had occupied our lives since I’d last seen him. As long as I didn’t look at him, I could almost forget that he was a wolfman. So I kept my gaze fixed straight ahead on Franklin’s Tower rising about a quarter mile away with its key-shaped hands turning over a blue, illuminated clock face.
I crushed an empty can and threw it out into the yard. “Why’d you do it?”
“This?” Clayton twisted a braid between his fingers. “I don’t know. I just feel better like this.”
“Things were that bad?”
“Drop it, brother.” He punched me in the arm and nearly knocked me off the railing, which sent my brother into hysterics. He was still laughing when he swung his feet around and offered his hand. I ignored it and stood on my own.
“You were the best big brother I could have asked for,” Clayton said. “I never fit in to the straight world, man. That has nothing do with you. I thank you for everything you did for me growing up.”
I considered punching him back but didn’t want to deal with the indignity of breaking my hand in the process. “Pretty cheesy, Clayton. Doesn’t sound like a wolfman-like thing to say.”
Clayton shook his head. “That’s where you’re wrong, man. Being a wolfman isn’t about what people think it’s about.”
“Those Wolfpack guys that beat Sam Briar half to death out by the gas pumps last summer?”
Clayton shrugged. “I don’t know, man. I wasn’t there. I’m guessing it was a complicated situation, though, like everything else.”
I cracked open another beer. “You remember that day we went up Firewinder Gulch?”
“I think about it at least once every day. There were rattlesnakes freaking everywhere, remember? And those old mine shafts? That was the day I knew that I’d never be happy living a regular life in Before and Afterville. I was meant for open air.” He leapt over the railing into the yard and grabbed a baseball from the grass. I followed him out and he tossed it to me.
“So, you’re blaming me taking you into the gulch for you becoming a wolfman?”
“I’m not ‘blaming’ you for anything, man, because that would imply that I regret the results. You might not love what I’ve become, brother, but I do.”
The ball slipped out of my hands and went high and wide. Clayton leapt effortlessly five feet up and snatched it out of the air like it was nothing. “You know what I remember just as clearly as how I felt that day? I remember the look on your face. I never saw you smile so much. Not before or after. That’s the real reason I’m here.” He winked and threw the ball high into the air.
I caught it. “You were lying?”
“Yea, I suppose I was. I want you to come with me on a three day ride.”
I turned the ball in my hands, pretending to inspect it as I hid my fear. “I’d have to ask the warden first.”
“Dezzie? She never struck me as the warden type, man.”
“You don’t live with her.”
“I don’t know, man. I don’t think you’re giving her enough credit.”
“I give her plenty of credit. She’s an excellent warden.”
“No offense, brother, but you’re starting to sound like a stereotype.”
“Look who’s talking,” I said, with no real idea what I meant by it. “What’s on the Triple Six, anyway?”
“Trouble and stuff.” He smiled. “It’s hard to say, exactly. It’s a little different for everyone.”
“People who go out to the Triple Six always wind up dead.”
“Everyone who goes anywhere eventually winds up dead.” Clayton shrugged. “But the rumors you hear about the Triple Six are passed around by people who’ve never actually been there. They don’t know what they’re talking about.”
I deflected the subject with some jokes and talked about lighter things. After a few minutes I told him I was heading to bed. He said he’d be up a bit longer taking in the night and drinking beer.
Part of me shrank back in terror at the thought of the Triple Six, but another part was caught up in the moment. An adventure with my little brother, no matter how dangerous, stirred my blood. I was too old for all that, though, I told myself. I had too many responsibilities.
Dezzie was on the couch when I got inside, book opened up in her lap. “I wanted to listen to the two of you laughing,” she said. “It’s been a long time since I heard that.”
I sat down and took her foot into my lap.
She closed the book and set it on the coffee table. “Well, are you going with him?”
I held up my hands like an arrestee. “I had nothing to do with it, warden. I’m innocent.”
Dezzie folded her hands in her lap and looked at me with one of those expressions that said she’d been waiting for a long time to say what she was about to say. “When have I ever bossed you around?”
I shrugged and smiled like a moron.
“Well, if you ever figure it out, let me know so I can stop doing that. I don’t like those kinds of women.”
“So you want me to go with him?”
“That’s irrelevant, Jim. The question is if you want to go with him. Do you know why I agreed to marry you?”
“Because I’m the best clockmaster in the city.”
“No.” She ran her fingers through my hair. “You had a passion for life. When I laughed with you, I felt high as a cloud. But you’re losing that, Jim. You’re getting farther and farther away from that person every day, and that’s scary, because you’re still young.”
“Not that young,” I said, managing to be completely unfunny. I wanted to tell her she was wrong, but it was hard to do that when I knew she was right. “I’m scared, Dezzie,” I said. “Of the Triple Six. Of the clocks. Of us. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore.”
Dezzie wrapped her arms around my neck and brought her face close to mine. “I’m going to tell you something, as your friend. I think you need to be honest with yourself. Are you letting your fears keep you from doing something you want to do? If so, then you need to ask yourself, seriously, if you’re going to be able to live with that ten years from now. I love you, but I don’t want to marry a man with regrets.”
She kissed me on the forehead. “Most importantly, if you do decide to stay behind, don’t use me as your excuse, okay?”
She went to the bedroom. I picked up a can of warm beer from the coffee table. The giant clock on the face of the house sounded in harmony with and the cricket sounds from outside.
After staring into the dark for a while, I laid down on the couch to sleep. I wondered if there were many rattlesnakes on the Triple Six, and guessed there probably would be.
I always hated snakes.