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Dad, runner, author, a bunch of other labels. I write about life, mental health, running, and some satire occasionally. Starting life over one day at a time.

By Design, Not by Default

Life comes with so many difficulties. And even though life began for me 46+ years ago, I was living it like others wanted me to. I was living my life by default. So I’ve decided it’s time to begin my life again.

There are times in life when emptiness is all you know and you get to a point where you wonder if you are still alive. It’s a numbness which is paralyzing and caring about anything is difficult. …

“You have the life you’re willing to put up with.”

— Gary John Bishop

Right now, I’m happy — but I know that could change at a moment’s notice. That’s life. And I’m prepared for that change if it happens.

But a couple of years ago, I couldn’t say I was close to anything that looked like happiness — even contentment was worlds away. In fact, I would consider myself to have been on the opposite end. I was depressed, anxiety-ridden, drinking too much, full of anger, and an overall complete mess. I was having chest pains due to stress…

And I’m Completely Fine With It

I used to think I knew what I was doing when it came to life. I had everything figured out. The house, the family, and the stable job. For a while, life was really good. Or so I pretended.

My life is unrecognizable compared to one year ago. It’s completely changed.

That is life. Your life can turn a complete 180° sometimes. It can change in an instant. And when someone says that phrase, many of us believe that change is bad.

But instant change can also be good.

A while ago, I wrote a post about dreaming your life away. It was written from experience because I did that for many years. I had a life, but it was not the life I wanted.

I worked in a job I hated, drank too much, and was so full of anxiety it led to panic attacks. I was depressed and didn’t realize how bad my depression had become because I was so used to it. I was used to living with being miserable.

Depression and anxiety were normal and comfortable. It was a part of me.

I was tolerating…

And I wonder if they care

I really didn’t want to write this. I’ve been contemplating whether publishing this story will be detrimental to me, my writing, and my publications, for a while. I’ve read stories about how writers are put into Medium jail for criticizing the platform. But I can’t ignore the problem anymore. I’m tired of having views, reads, and money taken away from me while plagiarizers are running rampant on Medium. I’m sick of having to report people all the time because Medium doesn’t seem to take the problem seriously.

You should be sick of it, too.

Since August, I have found over…

Highlights and stories from May 2-May 8, 2021

Welcome to the Runner’s Life newsletter!

If you’ve missed previous newsletters, you can find the archive here.

In the spirit of Mother’s Day, I want to feature the story of Makenna Myler. Makenna initially received internet fame when she was filmed running a 5:25 mile while nine months pregnant, and due to give birth just a few days after the run.

Just six months after having her baby boy, Myler ran a personal best (15:45.48) in the 5,000m and also ran a personal best in the mile (4:42.40) a week later.

Highlights and stories from April 25-May 1, 2021

Welcome to the Runner’s Life newsletter!

If you’ve missed previous newsletters, you can find the archive here.

For the first time since the pandemic began, the New York Road Runners (N.Y.R.R.) will hold a regularly scheduled race on June 12. While the group has held other races, those events were to test the viability of returning to regular racing, and had strict safety protocols.

The June 12 New York Mini 10K is for women only, and they will limit the field to 1,200 runners. They expect 25 elites to attend and defending champion Sara Hall will return.

This is good…

Highlights and stories from April 18-April 24, 2021

Welcome to the Runner’s Life newsletter!

If you’ve missed previous newsletters, you can find the archive here.

On April 13, Des Linden shattered the 50k world record with a time of 2:59:54. She broke the previous record of 3:07:20 held by Aly Dixon. Linden also became the first woman to break the 3-hour barrier for the 50k, and it was also the first ultra in her career. She averaged 5:47 per mile (3:35 per km) over the 31.06-mile course.

Linden, also the winner of the 2018 Boston Marathon, announced on April 19 she will again compete in the iconic race…

Not quite poetry

“If you feel a chill in the air, it’s my spirit hanging somewhere
And if you ever get scared, look on the bright side
You’ve got a new life.” — Amos Lee

What do you do
to ease your pain
a misery
that keeps you stuck
in the past
as dark
as they are

my soul weeps
and I’m really not the same
empty in many ways
the space inside closing
playing a game
I never wanted to play

miles and miles of wear on my mind on my feet with the destination unknown and the road…

Highlights and stories from April 11-April 17, 2021

Welcome to the Runner’s Life newsletter!

If you’ve missed previous newsletters, you can find the archive here.

As I’ve discussed before, I’m a huge fan of watching documentaries, movies, and anything else related to running. They inspire me and give me the motivation to pursue my running goals. Running (and watching running) is a passion of mine, and I love everything about it.

From April 17 through April 24, the Forward Motion Festival takes place and involves a week of panel discussions, and ends with a live stream showcase of films about trail running.

According to their website, the Forward…

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