After Kindness, Not Giving A F*ck Should Be Your Default

Photo by Mike Marquez on Unsplash

Warning: this post contains curse words. Turn back now if you don’t like to read or see them. You’ve been warned!

I read a post written by Michelle Patrovani titled Set Your Default To Kindness. It was a great article and I agree we should all be kind to one another. Like the title says, kindness should be our default. It costs nothing to be kind and nice. The post has stuck with me because it had such a strong message.

But after kindness, you should not give a fuck about certain things.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned not to give a fuck. Like not caring about using the word fuck. It’s a word. Get over it.

I try not to use it when I write or in daily conversations with people, but sometimes the word fuck conveys feelings much better than anything else. Same with shit. This post may piss people off and I may lose a few followers, but that’s not giving a fuck.

If you need a better example of how those words are sometimes better than others, I would read Jon Westenberg. He uses those words beautifully.

Now I always try to be kind. That is what I focus on. Being nice to people will get you farther than being mean. Respecting other people regardless of their opinions is vital for all of us to live together peacefully.

So go towards kindness before anything else.
Photo by Robert Baker on Unsplash

But sometimes, you have to not give a fuck.


Because life is better when you don’t give a fuck.

I’m not saying be an asshole all the time, but don’t waste energy on shit which means nothing. Like getting upset about the word fuck. Or shit.

Here are a few other things you should not give a fuck about:

  • Clothes — I read an article that said you don’t have respect for yourself if you don’t dress sharp. It also said you don’t respect how you appear to others. Bullshit. I don’t give a fuck how I appear to others. If you don’t like how I dress that’s a YOU problem. The clothes don’t make the person; the person makes the person. I wear the same shit all the time. Why? Because it’s comfortable and I don’t care whether I impress you. I’d rather spend money on shit that’s important like my kids. It’s clean and not offensive. Enough said.
  • What others think of you — There are 7.6 billion people in the world. Some of them will not like you. Who cares? Unless you have to eat dinner with them every night, fuck ’em. If you do have to eat dinner with them, you need to figure out what the hell you are doing. But, as I’ve written about before, you are being judged regardless, so don’t give a fuck about what others think.
  • What others are doing — Worry about yourself and what you are doing. Other people will do shit different from you and they will disagree with what you have to say. There are many people who are better than you. Stop comparing yourself to them. The only competition you have is yourself. Be better than who YOU were yesterday, not them. Don’t become so concerned with what others do that you lose track of yourself.
  • Shit you have no control over — Life sucks sometimes. I get it. But worrying about shit you can’t control is a waste of energy and time. You can’t control life, others, or external things. You only control yourself, what you do, how you think, and how you react. Focus on what you can control and fuck the rest.

I could go on about more shit we should not give a fuck about. But that is a good start. It will take you on the path to fucklessnessville.

Photo by Dmitry Sovyak on Unsplash — The path to fucklessnessville

But I also want to tell you why not giving a fuck is important.

Because caring about meaningless shit will eat you up inside. The day to day worry about stuff you can’t control will consume you. Let it go.

Also, the only person you are hurting when you worry and care about shit that doesn’t matter is you. All the little shit you get pissed off about is not worth the time spent being pissed.

So try it out. See what happens.

Set your default to kindness when interacting with others, but don’t give a fuck about all the other meaningless shit.

Thanks for reading!