The Year of No F-boys.
I’m declaring it now: 2017 will be the year of no fboys.
I mean, I’m not a magician so of course, these trifling little boys are still going to exist in the real world (I know it sucks) but they won’t be existing in MY world this year.
What defines a fuckboy? Umm, let me see….
See, 2016 wrecked everything for me. When I hang out with my friends, they tell me so many of their horror stories on dating and how hard it is out here to meet men that want more than just their goodies but I couldn’t see that ever happening to me. I’m a naive chick which has come to be one of my flaws but I believed that my experience would be different. I don’t know if I believed I was immune to the fuckboy syndrome or what but 2016 gave me a reality check that I wouldn’t be to immune to shit.
I was a hopeless romantic before 2016. I quoted my favorite Cinderalla movie on the daily. I still lived in a fairy tale world where I believed that I would kiss maybe a couple of frogs before I finally found my Prince Charming. 2016 woke me the hell up. That ain’t what this real world’s about. Not at all.
I can’t put all of the blame on the fuckboys though. I have to take some sort of responsibility for the crappy dating year I experienced.
Rewind to the beginning of 2016, I’m the one who suffered emotional abuse and humiliation by someone I thought cared about me. And instead of dealing with that pain and dealing with what part I played in all of it so that I could learn and grow from it — I wanted a distraction and when my insecurities began to kick in really hard, I just wanted to know that I was wanted — so I reacted rashly, I joined Tinder.
Big effing mistake, yo!
I don’t know what I was thinking. And you’re probably thinking that that’s why my dating experience in 2016 was crap and you’re probably right BUT this is my blog and my moment so I’ll still complain about the fuckboys of 2016. Ha! ;)
And don’t get me wrong, Tinder does work out for some people. I’ve seen it happen for maybe…ONE person since I became aware of the social media app but I mean, one counts for something right? And let’s be clear: Not everyone goes on Tinder to smash but it seemed that everyone I matched up with, did.
I actually had a guy message me to say it looked like I had a fat ass because of how my big my thighs were and to send him a pic of it.
See, men on Tinder? Classy. *side eye*
Every dating experience that I’ve gotten from that app has been a nightmare. You’ll hear about the stories later…
But what draw me to the conclusion that 2017 would not be wasted on fboys? New Years Eve confirmed this for me. I had another lapse in judgment and decided to get back on Tinder the week before the new year. I had been free from this horrible app for about five-six months timeframe when a coworker of mine said I needed to join again and hence, there I was, being optimistic because she had met her guy on there so I’m thinking, “Lord, if you’re working for me on here then I’ll be receptive and obedient” but He was NOT working for me on there.
It just isn’t meant for Jay.
So, I let my coworker swipe left and right for me and she landed on this guy who I thought seemed okay because of his slightly okay pictures. That leads me to another reason I don’t like dating apps because of the pictures chosen for a person’s profile. I know that guys aren’t like females and won’t be uploading selfies left and right but I don’t want to see your pelvic area and nothing else. Like, come on! But I digress…
I started communicating with this guy. The conversation was cool and this went on for a few days so I was open to meeting up with him and while, we’re planning our meetup, I’m asking the Lord to reveal this man’s truth to me real quick because as all women should know, fboys have a tendency of lying, stunting and wasting a woman’s time to get to the panties and screw you over so I ask for discernment when I begin interaction with anyone.
We meet up at this sports bar and the conversation is okay, it’s not like killer, like immediate sparks, but I shrug it off as nerves and I’m enjoying myself. I feel like it’s one day before 2017 begins and 2016 is ending with a nice looking man with good conversation so things are looking up.
We talked for a couple of hours at this place. And I think I might want to see him again. I’m thinking that it’s really just cool to talk to someone from the opposite sex and it don’t have to be about the physical.
But, of course, I’m wrong.
I still am not sure how this happened and I’m still asking myself why do these type of situations or circumstances only happen to me? But this dude starts complaining about his stomach hurting and I’m like, “Go to the restroom,” (I was more worried that this dude would pass gass in front of me) but he’s groaning that it’s not that and it just needs to be rubbed.
Oh, okay. *rolls eyes*
I try not to jump to the worst assumptions but I’ve been pretty accurate every time I think I know where a guy is headed with some bs. Anyway, he takes my hand and places it on his stomach (fyi: he had covered his stomach and his lap with his jacket) underneath his jacket — he rubs it there once or twice but I’m freaked out because I feel something moist and hard poking the back of my hand.
Like, bam, bam, bam against the back of my hand.
WTF?!
I yanked my hand back immediately, “Why in the hell do you have your dick out? Are you kidding me right now?”
This guy fakes shock. He’s so hurt and wounded that I would assume this of him as he is taking the efforts to “readjust” himself and then proceeds to say that I didn’t grab it so I didn’t “act like it was a real dick or know what to do with it.
Okay bruh, if I grabbed and twisted that thang around, you would say that I did you wrong but it’s okay to have your dick sitting out in public with someone you just met?
Long story short, that met up ended real quick. And I deleted my account on Tinder. Was I offended? Hell yeah! Situations like these make me question myself sometimes, like is it a vibe that I’m giving off? Like, where the hell do these type of men come from and why am I meeting them?!
I’m learning about discernment though. I’m learning about listening to my gut instinct. You see, before I met up with the guy, our conversation started changing slightly and I was apprehensive about meeting with him but I shrugged it off. Ladies, listen to your gut! It won’t steer you wrong.
I wanted to mainly start this blog so it can show that it doesn’t matter what a person reveals to you on social media or what they allow you to see because we all have challenges and nothing is ever as it seems. I believe in the process of learning and growing.
2016 was my year of pain and self-discovery but 2017?
It’s my year for love!
And when I say love, I’m not talking about a man (even though Lord if you make that happen, that’s cool with me too hehe), I’m talking about loving myself, loving this life that I live, loving this moment that I’m in and not taking anyone or anything for granted. It will be my best year yet.
I claim it and speak it by faith. And hey! You should do it too!
I’m going to share my horror and humbling dating stories of 2016 on here and open up as I navigate through life this year and I’m going at things with an open heart and mind and full of hope but yeah, no more fuckboys for Jay. :)
