Differences Divide & Similarities Unite
It is within human nature to label and categorize humans and things. This would explain why people use certain ‘labels’ to define people. Most of these labels are related to race, religion, gender or nationality. We can all recognize this behavior within ourselves. Humans are judgmental to avoid risks and protect ourselves. When we see someone who belongs in a different category we are more likely to judge “different” as a risk. While a person who is just like us is defined as a safe choice.
Lets be honest here, if you can choose to befriend someone like yourself or a completely different person, who would you choose? I can bet you that most people will choose the former. Nevertheless what your answer to this question might be, this is completely ‘’normal’’ because almost every person prefers someone in the same category.
But why do we like ourselves so much? The answer is quite simple: someone like you is a safe and easy choice. Probably the most important reason is that you can relate to them. It is much easier to put yourself in their shoes, to understand them. You will feel that it is easier to emphasize with someone like yourself, than a completely different person. Besides, the ‘thing’ you have in common creates the start of a conversation in which you are more likely to search for similarities as differences.
The words “I”, “him” or “her”, “we”, “our” and “them” are often used in conversations. By using these words we categorize and label groups and individuals. It creates categories which are labeled with certain tag words. As mentioned in the introduction, most common examples are race, religion, gender or nationality.
If we find similarities or have ‘things’ in common we assign ourselves to the same category. Similarities between two people or groups create a “we” category, which unites us. When we focus on differences, we create a category of “them”. The word “them” also means ‘not us’. Using the word “them” creates an instant distance and therefore divides us as groups and individuals. If, “we” cannot relate to “them” we cannot understand each other. This often results in the fact that common ground is neglected, emotions take over which and it becomes impossible to see someone else’s point of view.
We humans are always looking for differences, which makes it difficult for us to see what we have in common. By neglecting the common we ignore the common ground on which we do agree.
My advice, for if you ever catch yourself in an argument like this. If you cannot agree on the whole concept, try to find “things” which you do have in common or do agree on. This creates common ground between two groups and unites them. This will work over time, but it will take some people longer than others. “You must first lay the foundation, to build a house!”
I would love to hear your feedback and help you with any questions!
