Her: I just need you to answer one question. Just one. Why now?
Mr: (short of words for a few seconds) You won’t understand. I wish you could. I wish I could tell you why and make things right. But it won’t make any difference,it is past. I just want to do the right things now. That’s all that matters.
Her: It is too late. Am all grown up. I learnt to survive without you and am living. I have been doing okay without you. Why do you think it should change now? What difference will your presence make now?
Mr: It is going to make all the difference. I want to redeem those years. I know I hurt you . But you are my daughter, nothing can change that.
Her: You changed everything dad. You changed it from the beginning. It wasn’t meant to be this way. You made it this way. You had the power of choice and you made this choice,this decision,you set the pace.
Mr: It was all a mistake. Priorities weren’t set right.
Her: And you want to set them now??? Some priorities have a limited time frame to be set right. I do not blame you. This is how best you knew how to be a father. I just wish you tried to do it the right way and this conversation will be totally unnecessary.
Mr: Am trying to make everything right,it ain’t suppose to be hard.
Her: You made things hard and wrong from the beginning. This,is what you wanted and you got it.
Mr: I want something different now. I want the right things.
Her: You can’t eat your cake and have it all dad. (Takes a 10seconds pause) I thought you would at least apologise for everything but it is okay. I forgive you. I had forgiven you a long time ago. I hold nothing against you. I know am not your priority and truth be told,I won’t be your priority but I am fine with that.
Mr: You are my daughter, you are my priority.
Her: (laughs) That’s the old age and regrets talking.
Mr: No,this is the changed me talking. Please believe me.
Her: This “changed you” isn’t convincing enough. Please,I have a request.
Her: I love you dad. But stay away from me. You have done enough…
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This post is born out of my passion for the ministry of fatherhood. The ministry that has suffered the greatest neglect. The ministry that is suppose to produce giants but is constantly producing small minds consumed with anger. The ministry that many see today as an initiation into manhood and not a call to serve. The ministry so many do not have a wide scope of but a myopic view of. The ministry that has been subjected to how society says it should be done instead of how the word of God says it should be.
Everyday, I see men “fathers” fail in this ministry and my heart breaks. I see young men look up to failed fathers as guides and not being able to break through and do fatherhood the God way and I weep. There is more to fatherhood that meets the eye. It goes beyond the name,the number of children,biological or not,married to the mothers or not. It is deep. And to understand fatherhood God’s way,you have to know God — our father who is in heaven — intimately as your father first. He sets the pace for all fathers to follow. He is the prototype in this ministry called fatherhood.
The foot prints of a father no matter the way he walked will always be imprinted in the life of that child. So you determine if that foot print will be treasured or wiped away.