That was powerful and honest. It seems you are telling two stories. One is about the ‘intersectional totem pole’ and how it it is sued to shut down dissenting voices. The other is about your approach to dealing with gender dysphoria without transitioning. Every trans journey is different but I can certainly relate to yours as I have had similar insights. While I’ve come out as trans I am still unsure about medical transition for some of the reasons you have about whether it will actually reduce the dysphoria. Have you seen the L Word? There is this character Lisa who presents as a man but inists they are a transwoman. I used to think this was some ignorant writers misunderstanding of transpeople until I realised I wasn’t so different to this character.